Marijuana / Question
Published: December 31, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My boyfriend and I have been going steady for 5 months now. I've always had a problem with him smoking cigarettes and weed. The thing is, it's a long distance relationship and he lives 2 hours away. So we had agreed that he was not to smoke either one in front of me, when we were to see each other. But it still bothers me that he does it. I feel that if he really loved me, he would stop! I'm confused. What should I expect from him, or am I expecting too much?
Signed: Very Confused Girlfriend - Boyfriend Smoking Weed & Cigarettes
Dear Very Confused Girlfriend - Boyfriend Smoking Weed & Cigarettes,
It is natural to be concerned and upset when you see someone that you care about doing something that you believe is harmful to themselves. TeenHealthFX feels that you are justified in having a problem with his cigarette and marijuana use - there has been much research done to prove the damaging long and short-term effects of both. Expecting a loved one to take care of themselves is certainly not expecting too much.
From what you are saying it sounds like whether or not your boyfriend smokes cigarettes and marijuana in your presence or not does not mean that he is not using them altogether. If it concerns you that he uses them, then it really is not going matter much where he does it. The problem is not locations - it is the fact that it is happening at all. TeenHealthFX thinks that you should try to have a talk with him about why you feel so strongly that he stops. If it helps, you can print out our answers to Friend Who Smokes A Pack a Day and Concerned Weed Smoker. Both outline very clearly the dangers of using cigarettes and marijuana. Once he sees that you care about him and his health enough to have taken the time to research the issues, there is a good chance he will take your point of view more seriously.
If you feel that your boyfriend has become dependant on cigarettes and marijuana, there is help for him. Although marijuana may not as be physically addicting as cigarettes are, you can develop a psychological dependence that makes quitting tough. If he lives in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Most smokers begin smoking as teens, and the average age of initiation is 12.5 years of age.
