TeenHealthFX - Answers - Is My Mother An Alcoholic?

When Friends & Family Use & Abuse / Question
Published: June 20, 2006

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Here I am 20 years old, I don't know what to think anymore. Here is my question; Is my mother an alcoholic? Since I can remember my mom has always drank. First it was only when people came over, now (and the last 10 years) it's everyday from the moment she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. She says it's only 3.2. Does that make a difference? I don't think she gets drunk but she drinks all day I don't know what to think. I denied it for years. Her being an alcoholic never crossed my mind, but now that I am older I have second thoughts. My idea of an alcoholic was someone drunk and stumbling all over the place. I feel kind of lame writing in to a website intended for kids, but I just want some answers without actually going to talk to anyone

Signed: Is My Mother An Alcoholic?

Dear Is My Mother An Alcoholic?,

First of all, TeenHealthFX does not want you to feel “lame” about writing in. We get many questions from teens and young adults – you are certainly not the first person in their 20’s to write into us. Second, you should feel good about yourself for reaching out to someone to get answers to an understandably troubling and confusing situation.

Your idea of what an alcoholic looks like – someone who is constantly drunk, stumbling around, fumbling words, and generally unable to function – is a common perception. However, it is more of a misperception since it is not always blatantly obvious from looking at a person that he or she has a problem with alcohol.

Alcoholism, also known as alcohol dependence, is a disease that includes the following four symptoms:

Craving – A strong need or urge to drink.
Loss of control – Not being able to stop drinking once drinking has begun.
Physical Dependence – Withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety after stopping drinking
Tolerance – The need to drink greater amounts of alcohol to experience the same effects.

Answering the following four questions can help you figure out if you or a loved one has a drinking problem:

Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?

One “yes” answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. More than one “yes” answer, means it is highly probable that an alcohol problem exists

In terms of looking at a person in terms of whether or not he/she has a problem with alcohol, it is also important to consider if that person is emotionally dependent on alcohol for something. For example, do they need alcohol in order to socialize or be a party with other people, to get through the workday, to relax – would these things be extremely difficult or near impossible for the person without alcohol? For your mother to be drinking all day from the moment she wakes up does suggest a problem – even if she does not end up stumbling down drunk.

FX thinks that it might be helpful for you to attend Al-Anon meetings, which are meetings for people who are dealing with someone in their lives who are abusing alcohol. Attending Al-Anon may help you to feel more clear about your mother’s issue with drinking, may help you to feel less alone in your situation (since you are certainly not alone!), and could be a place where you could get some advice and guidance in terms of how to deal with your mother’s drinking.

You might also want to consider getting more information for yourself at some of the following hotlines and websites:

Al-Anon/Alateen Hotline, 1-800-344-2666, 8am-6pm EST; Help for young people who are the relatives and friends of problem drinkers; www.al-anon.alateen.org
National Institute on Drug Abuse & Alcoholism, 1-888-644-6432
National Association for Children of Alcoholics, www.nacoa.org

Signed: TeenHealthFX