When Friends & Family Use & Abuse / Question
Published: March 20, 2000
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My father drinks heavily and this upsets me. What can I do?
Signed: Child Of A Drinker
Dear Child Of A Drinker,
Being involved and having a relationship with someone who is a heavy drinker of alcohol is very hard, especially when it is a parent. Not only does drinking alcohol change that person's behavior towards his/her loved ones, but also it directly affects the loved ones and their relationships with each other. Sometimes heavy drinkers are alcoholics, which it sounds like you are describing. When someone is drinking consistently and altering their mental status, they are classified as an alcoholic or suffering from alcoholism.
Alcoholism is a disease that needs treatment from a medical and psychological standpoint. Many alcoholics cannot just quit drinking because there are often many other problems that are making them drink. In order for an alcoholic to change his/her drinking behaviors, they have to deal with the issues that started them drinking in the first place.
All this said, you just can't make him stop! I know that must be hard to hear, but dealing with alcoholism is a process. You can help in that process by changing the situation for yourself. First, you need to talk to someone. Try your mother and discuss your feelings. This may or may not work because sometimes other family members are so involved in the problems that they may see no area of concern. If this does not work, do not give up. You should not have to live in this type of situation and your father does need help. Try talking to a trusted adult like another relative, a teacher, doctor, or school nurse. Do not stop until you get a trusted adult on your side. A child of an alcoholic needs support and counseling to deal with their problems and concerns caused by the alcoholism. There are also support groups for family members of alcoholics called Al-Anon. Call your local Alateen to get more information.
One last bit of concern, sometimes alcoholics can become violent and hurt his/her loved ones either through physical or mental abuse. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Or if this is happening to you, please call the Division for Youth and Family Services at (800) 792.8610. Also, sometimes a child of an alcoholic can become depressed and suicidal. If this is how you are feeling, seek help. In New Jersey, please call Atlantic Behavioral Health's 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (973) 540.0100. Outside of NJ, please call 1(800) SUICIDE.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens with untreated depression are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
