Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: November 19, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hello, I'm a 15-year-old girl. Most of my life my dad beat my brothers for getting into any type of trouble. He was out of control and I had to stop him. He always would tell me I was stupid or ugly. That he was going to kill me that night in my sleep. He tried to hit me a couple times and every so often he has grabbed my arms or pulled me by the hair. My mom is just as abusive emotionally to me; she always did everything for my brothers but not me. I tried to tell her I was seriously depressed and wanted to die but she told me I was stupid and dumb for ever believing I was. I tried to keep writing her about how I felt but things just got worse. I don't know what to do, I have been talking a little to a school counselor but I haven't really told her how bad I'm hurting inside. I'm falling apart and I've lost all my pieces. I don't want to be taken out of my family or for anyone to get into trouble. I love my parents but I just can't take the pain. Help! I feel so alone and confused.
Signed: Alone With A Family Problem Tearing Me Apart.
Dear Alone With A Family Problem Tearing Me Apart.,
You have taken the first step by contacting TeenHealthFX and have already started the next step, telling an adult that you trust. Tell your counselor at school what has been going on, you can even bring your question and our answer, and let him/her know that you want help to stop the abuse and to stop feeling depressed and suicidal.
Your counselor at school can keep your discussion confidential but they are required (by law) to report abuse to Child Protective Services. You can also call your local Child Protective Services yourself - the toll free number is 800-522-3511. You can also log onto ChildHelp USA for reporting in your community.
Once a report has been filed, an investigation will occur. If there is abuse in the home, you and your siblings will be removed from the home and counseling will be provided for all individuals involved. These professionals are there to help you and ensure that you are not in danger.
If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger from your father, do not go home; go to the police or an adult to report the situation. Physical abuse also damages us emotionally. The yelling and fear that accompany abuse can wear you down. It is important to remember that abuse is not your fault and you do not deserve it. There are counselors and therapists who can help you deal with and provide an outlet for your emotions.
Also, if you get to the point that you are seriously considering killing yourself or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
TeenHealthFX knows that this is an extremely difficult situation for you. Yet, talking about it is a crucial step that you must take.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
It is estimated that major depressive disorder (MDD) affects about 5% of adolescents, and that between 10 - 15% of adolescents have some symptoms of depression at any one time.
