Other Emotional Health Issues / Question
Published: November 19, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have this problem where I can't stop lying...I am not sure why...everyday I wake up I think today I wont lie to anyone...and yet I do.... I lie about the smallest things right up to the biggest things.... I always tell people that I can't stand people who lie...when secretly this must mean I hate myself...because I lie everyday of my life.... my ex broke up with me because of the fact that I lie all the time.... I usually keep my lies intact and don't usually slip up...yet lately I have felt guilty about lying...and still can't stop no matter how much I see that I am hurting people...I was basically wondering if you have any advice besides talking with counselor.... because I just don't have money for professional help.... is there something I can do on my own to help with this...before I lose everyone I truly care about...
Signed: I'm A Compulsive Liar
Dear I'm A Compulsive Liar,
You really have taken the first step in stopping your lying by acknowledging that you have a problem and want to get help. People lie for all sorts of reasons - sometimes to avoid punishment, to present themselves in a different light, or to avoid embarrassment. People may even lie if they have witnessed someone else lie and get away with it. Lying may start out for one reason and develop into a habit - that is called compulsive lying.
You have already felt some of the consequences of lying - losing your boyfriend and feeling guilty. You not only hurt others when you lie, you hurt yourself by losing your self-esteem.
Not having money is not a reason to not seek help. Your parents may have insurance that covers mental health counseling. Try talking to them about what you are going through and ask for their help. Also many counseling centers have a sliding scale fee, which means you pay what you can afford. You do not say if you are still in school, but if you are in school or in college, there are counselors there who you could talk to.
For help in finding a therapist in northern New Jersey, call the Access Center at Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals to therapists in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Among young people ages 12-17, prescription drugs have become the second most abused illegal drug, behind marijuana.
