Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: December 10, 1999
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have a friend who has recently been expressing thoughts of killing herself. She says she wants to die to end all of her problems. She says she has a cloud of meanness hanging over her and can't get rid of it. She says that she does not like who she is. She also believes that the way people negatively respond to her is her fault. I've tried to build up her self-esteem - it doesn't work. She seems depressed. This talk of death scares me. She's always been levelheaded. What should I do?
Signed: My Friend's Suicidal Thoughts
Dear My Friend's Suicidal Thoughts,
Talk to her about it and assist her in getting the help she needs ASAP!
Your friend sounds very depressed and from your brief description, she sounds pretty serious about suicide! Although it sounds like your friend may be indirectly asking you for help, her feeling of depression and her thoughts of suicide are something you cannot handle yourself. Your friend needs to work through these painful thoughts, feelings, and issues with professional help, counseling and therapy.
Although people can feel sad or depressed for short periods of time when symptoms continue for more than a few days, it often is a sign of clinical depression which needs professional help. Take everything she is saying seriously and talk to someone until they take it seriously. You may want to try talking to your parents, her parents, a school nurse, guidance counselor, or a teacher.
Remember, you are not responsible for your friend or her thoughts or actions. However, when people are depressed they may not be thinking clearly and logically. When things get really rough, they need outside, professional help. So, whether or not she is receptive to your suggestions, she has already involved you by telling you these things and you really need to get a responsible adult involved.
If you are unable to talk to a trusted adult and get professional help for her and live in New Jersey, call the 24-hour CRISIS HOTLINE at (973) 540.0100. If you live outside Northern New Jersey, call the National Hope Line Network at (800) SUICIDE.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
One in four teenage girls in the 
