Depression / Question
Published: November 18, 2004
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Recently I have been seeing a therapist for depression. I am soon seeing a doctor to get medication. My mother died and now things are all very different. I've always kept to myself around my family, never was very close with my sisters. I found lately, in high school that I am not acting myself, but acting different around different people, trying to act like them to fit in and stuff. I dont really think I have a set personality, people don't know me for something or being a certain way. I want to be remembered when people look at yearbooks and be described as something. I just want to be myself. I have alot of friends, I get girls and everything like that, but I still am not myself. I changed a lot after my mom died. I used to be straight A+ through middle school, always known for being a very nice very smart boy, not a nerd though. I now am known to a lot of people for being a little, strong scary guy. Some people see through it though and can tell that thats not me. I need help
Signed: I Am Not Me
Dear I Am Not Me,
Losing a parent is one of the most traumatic events that can happen to a child. The grieving process can take a long time and it does not always follow in any particular order. Not everyone grieves the same way. You may have some good weeks followed by bouts of depression or other unpleasant feelings. The one thing that is constant is that life continues. Your father having a girlfriend and your sisters moving out are part of that process. This may be hard to deal with because although you were never really close, family support is important when a loved one dies.
Even without a major loss high school can be a trying and stressful time as well as a time of growth and excitement. Since so much change occurs during this period of life, it is hard to have a "set" personality because you are a work in progress. However it sounds like that you are not happy and seem to be struggling a great deal.
Feeling detached from one's self is often a symptom associated with depression. TeenHealthFX believes that you are on the right track by seeing a therapist and having an appointment to see a medical doctor about medication. It sounds like a good plan and you need to give it some time. There have been many major changes in your life and you need the opportunity to sort it all out.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
The teen pregnancy rate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized democracy, nearly twice that of Great Britain and 10 times that of Japan. 
