Sexual Assault & Rape / Question
Published: December 13, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm a fifteen-year-old male and I was wondering if it was okay to have sex with my brother, who's half my age. I heard somewhere that was called incest, but he's just so adorable, I can't resist. Please help!
Signed: Sex With Brother
Dear Sex With Brother,
It is absolutely not okay to engage in sexual acts with your younger brother. The technical name for it is incest, but more importantly it is wrong and will cause severe harm to your brother and family if you do not learn to control your impulses. Your brother is only eight years old and will not understand why his older brother is causing him to feel frightened, scared and extremely confused. Also how will you keep him from telling your parents? Will you threaten, frighten or intimidate him into silence? When your parent do find out how will you explain your actions to them? Saying he is adorable and you could resist does not and will not justify the damage you will have caused to your brother and your family.
Being attracted to another same age male is not a problem but having sexual desire for a family member or a minor is. Part of you must recognize that your desires are wrong other wise you would not have wrote in. Listen to the part of your conscience telling you that you need help. There are therapists out there who specialize in dealing with inappropriate sexual behavior. Therapy will help you come to understand your sexuality and teach you how to express it in an appropriate way so no one gets hurt, including you.
You most likely will need help in finding the appropriate help. It would be a good idea for you to confide in your parents what you have been feeling. They may be shocked by your admission but hopefully they will recognize how difficult it is for you to admit this and that you are doing the right thing. If it is not your parent then you need to be honest with some adult that you find trustworthy. You need to get the process going as soon as possible before something happens that could radically affect you and your family's life.
Since you are experiencing sexual feelings towards your brother it is extremely important that you avoid situations where it would be just you and him alone. You should not baby sit, or take him on outings because it puts him and you in a high-risk situation. At this point you do not have command of your impulses and given the opportunity there is no guarantee that you will be able to control them.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400 for assistance. Outside this are you can call Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN) 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Homicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds overall. 
