Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: December 10, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
:-( My friend just told me that she thinks she might be anorexic and that her mom does too, and if by the end of this week she hasn't eaten anything she is going to go see a doctor. I'm really worried about her. She tells me she wants to eat but every time she thinks about food she feels like throwing up, and I really don't want it to get worse. She is my best friend and I really care about her. What can I do to help her? She always comes to me and asks me, "am I going to be ok?" and I always say yes to her but I really don't know. I wish I did. She tells me about her problems and the only thing I know how to do is listen to her, but I want to do more than that. I really want to help her. What can I do? Please write back. I'm so depressed over this that I haven't eaten anything in two days. Help me, please.
Signed: Friend Might Be Anorexic
Dear Friend Might Be Anorexic,
Your friend is lucky to have someone in her life that is so supportive and concerned about her. We are very glad to hear that her mom is aware of her problem and that she is planning to see a doctor. Hopefully with some medical attention she can get the help she needs.
Our first concern is that you say you are so depressed about your friend you have not eating anything in two days. While it is important to be supportive of your friend, it is also important that your friend's problems do not cause you such distress to the point where you do not take care of yourself. We suggest you talk to someone - a parent, a teacher or counselor at school, or another trusted adult - about how you are feeling and why your friend's problems are causing you to feel so depressed.
Back to your friend: eating disorders usually result from underlying issues that have nothing to do with the person's body or their relationship with food - rather, their behaviors around food are their way of dealing with these deeper issues. For this reason, your friend needs outside help dealing with her eating disorder - long-term counseling can help her cope with these underlying issues and develop a more healthy relationship with food and with her body. For more information on eating disorders, try reading the answer to Does My Friend Have an Eating Disorder? Some websites that will offer more information include:
National Eating Disorder Information Center
National Eating Disorders Association
We hope your friend starts to feel better, and we hope you do, too.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
