Eating Disorders / Question
Published: January 23, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a seventeen year old female and was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at the age of tweleve. Though I have been to many hospitals and treatment centers, I am worse than ever before, at 5'5" and 73 pounds. I know that I am going to die, the doctors and my parents have discussed this many a time, and I have my will made and ready. I am okay with this, and have come to accept it. The problem is, I have a boyfriend, who I have been dating for the past two years. I love him more than anything. He cares about me very much, and I know that when I pass on, it will be terrible for him. I am wondering if I should break up with him before this happens...I hate to see him worry over me all the time, and...I'm just so confused. If I break up with him, will it soften the blow when I pass? I don't know what to do. Any advice you can give would be appreciated. -Boyfriend not ready for me to die.
Signed: Boyfriend Not Ready For Me To Die
Dear Boyfriend Not Ready For Me To Die,
TeenHealthFX strongly suspects that your doctors and parents made the statement about your dying as a possible outcome if you did not follow the treatment program. While anorexia can lead to death, it does not have to be a terminal illness and can be successfully treated.
Do not expect your boyfriend, parents, family or friends to accept this decision you have made. There is nothing you could do to soften the blow of your death. It will cause a great deal of anguish for those who love you and have a negative impact on their lives for years to come.
TeenHealthFX recognizes that battling an eating disorder can be difficult and tiring at times. Although treatment has not been successful so far this is no reason to give up. Different treatment centers, a new medication, a new resolve on your part are all factors that could produce a positive outcome. Please do not think giving up is an option. Think of the horrible ordeal your family and boyfriend will experience as they watch you waste away. What ever scenario you have pictured in your mind regarding your death, forget it, it will not be pretty.
There must be something very special about you that resulted in your boyfriend being by your side for the past two years. Whatever that is do not throw it away. You have to continue to battle your eating disorder with the proper treatment and support. A big factor in successful treatment is that you buy into the program and make it work for you. Overcoming an eating disorder requires hard work but it can be done. If you have not been comfortable with the programs in the past, find one where you feel at ease. A good working relationship with a team of doctors and health professionals can make the difference between success and failure.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Statistics show that giving a teen a credit card does not teach them to be financially responsible or to encourage self-restraint, but actually promotes a “spend now and deal with the consequences later” mindset.
