Death & Dying / Question
Published: March 13, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
A couple days ago my mother told me that my grandmother is very ill (see she has always had a heart problem) and that the doctors said that she is most likely not going to make it.She is at home and acting like normal but how can I cope with her dying slowely?
Signed: Sad Granddaughter - Grandmother Dying
Dear Sad Granddaughter - Grandmother Dying,
Coping with a grandmother that is slowly dying must be extremely difficult for you. Unfortunately, death is a part of life that we all have to deal with at some point. Struggling with death and dying issues is never an easy thing, especially during your teen years. FX feels for you and what you must be going through.
Your specific question is about coping. There is a different answer for everyone because everyone handles loss differently. FX highly recommends that you utilize your support system and talk to someone about it, like your mom. FX also recommends talking to your grandmother as well. FX does not know if she is aware of how ill she is, but you still can say the things that you always wanted to tell her, like you care and you love her. You can also ask her any questions that you need to know about you or your family. Do this wisely though and talk to your mother first about how you can delicately handle the situation.
FX wants you to know that feeling sad, upset and even angry at times are all normal emotions for what your are going through. It is at these times that you need to find support the most. Sometimes grief and the feelings associated with it are very overwhelming where you may need outside help to deal with it. If this happens, talk to your parents and ask them to help you find a grief counselor. Also, you can look into a bereavement support group through your local hospital. Bereavement support groups are for people who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
Unfortunately, when this is all over, TeenHealthFX cannot give you a period of time and say you will no longer feel pain because again we all deal with death differently and there is no right or wrong way. You need to feel your feelings. Your grandmother's memory will always be in your heart. Over time, you will learn to appreciate these memories and move through your life.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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