TeenHealthFX - Answers - 14 YO Perfectionist - Mood Determined By What I Eat

Eating Disorders / Question
Published: September 30, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am a 14 year-old girl. I am a perfectionist. For instance, I want no breasts, no hips, no leg hair, no arm hair, no buttocks, no fat basically. I don't know, I guess I'm weird. Just whenever I look in the mirror I feel mad at myself for having so much fat and bulges in my breast area and buttocks. I am not straight but curvy now which makes me frusterated for some reason. Well, I guess I'm not really fat. Just going through puberty. I'm 5'5 and 116 pounds. My whole goal in life is to be about 90 pounds and have little fat on my body and it is completely destroying me. Everyday my mood is determined by how much I ate that day....I hate it!! Because I can go for weeks eating like a pig so I get moody and rude and have low self-esteem for that very reason. I think I am so ungrateful. I have so many talents and people tell me that I'm really pretty all the time and I have an extraordinary family. Oh, and so much late night snacking which makes me want to die. I must eat about 4,000 calories some days and 100 calories another. What is wrong with me?

Signed: 14 YO Perfectionist - Mood Determined By What I Eat

Dear 14 YO Perfectionist - Mood Determined By What I Eat,

TeenHealthFX is concerned about you. We are glad that you recognize that your thoughts and behaviors are unhealthy and unrealistic. Although it is common to feel strange in your own body as it changes during your teenage years, it seems like you have gone beyond this. Also, it sounds like people tell you that you're talented and pretty, yet you don't believe it. It seems like you are unable at this point to hear the good things about yourself.

How you describe yourself - your mood being determined by what you eat, feeling like you want to die after snacking, wanting to weigh 90 pounds, and wanting a body with no fat are all symptoms of an eating disorder. The common theme in all eating disorders is linking of weight to happiness, and obsessing over it. The good news is you seem to recognize this or you would not have written to TeenHealthFX. We are glad that you did because there is help for you to feel better and to actually like yourself.

It's important for you to get help for this. Girls with eating disorders are frequently very high achievers and may think they can and should take care of their problems by themselves. But professional help is needed and there is no need to suffer when help and treatment is available. There are long term effects to eating disorders, including heart and kidney problems, growth retardation, and loss of periods. For more information about eating disorders see our answer to Does My Friend Have An Eating Disorder

TeenHealthFX recommends that you begin by talking to your parents or someone you trust about what you have been going through. They can take you to your family doctor or pediatrician who can evaluate you and recommend treatment. For other options in Northern NJ, contact the Eating Disorders Program at Atlantic Health System at (908) 522-5757. Otherwise, an adolescent health center in your area would be able to refer you for evaluation and treatment.

For other good information about eating disorders check out Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center and National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders

Signed: TeenHealthFX