TeenHealthFX - Answers - Scared Girlfriend - Boyfriend Abused By Mother

Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: July 19, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My boyfriend's mother whips him with a belt and he has cuts and bruises from her. His father is very old and he doesn't know about his mother whipping him. I'm really confused of what I should do. I told him I wouldn't tell anyone but I think I should call Social Services if I get enough information to show that he is being abused.

Signed: Scared Girlfriend - Boyfriend Abused By Mother

Dear Scared Girlfriend - Boyfriend Abused By Mother,

TeenHealthFX understands that this is a very scary and difficult situation. Your boyfriend needs help and you are right to want to call social services.

We recommend that you first encourage your boyfriend to speak to his father about the situation. If he cannot or if his father does not do anything, he should speak to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor or his doctor. Although the discussion will remain confidential, teachers, counselors and school nurses are required (by law) to report suspected cases of abuse to the child protective services where your boyfriend lives. You or your boyfriend can also call and report the abuse anonymously - meaning you do not have to give your name. To report child abuse in New Jersey, call the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) at 1.800.792.8610. To find and/or report child abuse in other states, log onto Child Help USA

Once a report has been filed, an investigation will occur. If there is abuse in the home, your boyfriend will be removed from the home and counseling will be provided for all individuals involved. These professionals are there to help and ensure that no teen is in danger.

Let your boyfriend know that you are very concerned for him and do not want to see him hurting anymore. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for stopping the abuse of your boyfriend - there are professionals whose job is to protect children from abuse.

Signed: TeenHealthFX