Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: December 28, 2006
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I’m 15 years old and a few years ago at my church this guy he’s, around 30, reached inside my shirt and started torching my breasts. He said that where he came from women considered it as tickling; he said he was tickling me. But I didn’t like it. He wouldn’t stop I didn’t say anything because I was scared so I started to giggle because since he said he was tickling me I thought if I giggled he would stop, but he didn’t. I’ve kept this bottled up inside me ever since. I wanted to tell my mom but I'm scared she won’t believe me. That’s not the only time he's 'tickled' me he did it a couple of more times after that but the other times they weren’t just to my breasts, he did it to other parts too. And I’m afraid that he's also done it to my little sis she's 8 and when I ask her why she let him carry her she wouldn’t answer me. What should I do?
Signed: Should I Tell Someone About The Inappropriate Tickling?
Dear Should I Tell Someone About The Inappropriate Tickling?,
TeenHealthFX is very sorry to hear that you had to go through such a terrible experience. The man that did this is absolutely in the wrong in terms of what he did to you. This was not simply innocent “tickling,” but was inappropriate sexual touching that violated your trust and your personal space. And FX can understand how scary this whole situation must feel for you – you have been understandably worried about what might happen if you didn’t go along with this person’s requests, nervous that your mother may not believe you about what happened, and scared that this person may be abusing your little sister in the same way. And all of these worries on top of the feelings you must have about what has happened to you are an awful lot for one person to be carrying on her shoulders.
As scary as it may feel, FX recommends that you start by telling your mother about what happened to you, and to let her know about your concerns for your sister. You can even show your mother this letter if you feel it would help to get the conversation going. Let your mother know how scary this is for you to talk about and how much you need her to believe you and be there for you right now. If after discussing this with your mother you are finding that she does not believe you or is not acting on what you told her, FX strongly suggests that you speak with another adult about this. Whether you talk to an extended family member, a religious leader at your church, a school staff member, or any other trusted adult – it is important to keep telling people until someone intervenes in a few ways. FX thinks that it is important that the adult you speak to intervenes in a few ways. This involves ensuring your well-being in terms of protecting you from being in a situation where this person can hurt you again, as well as getting you counseling so you process this experience with a trained professional. It also involves someone assessing whether or not your sister has been abused, so that she can get counseling services if needed. It involves your mother being educated by a mental health professional trained in dealing with sexual abuse so that she can learn how to be there for you to guide and support you through a difficult time. And it means reporting this man’s actions to the police so that any steps that need to be taken can be made in order to prevent him from doing this to anyone else in the community.
If you live in northern
You can also contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
The teen pregnancy rate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized democracy, nearly twice that of Great Britain and 10 times that of Japan. 
