TeenHealthFX - Answers - Thought For Weeks About Killing Myself

Suicide / Question
Published: February 14, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

All I have thought about for a few weeks now is about killing myself. I know it will affect my family, but frankly, I don't care. Realizing this, I feel more guilty about how selfish I am. It makes me want to kill myself even more, because I don't see how my life will ever get better. I also realize that telling somebody will also not do any good, for it will only let people know how screwed up I really am. My parents are so convinced my life is fine that they would never understand how I feel. Every day I feel worse and worse, and everybody thinks I'm just a sullen jerk. It's gotten to the point where I have set up a date for when I would kill myself, just so I have something to look forward to through all this mess. I'm sorry if I'm forcing you to listen to some nut rattling off complaints about his life, but I can't hold it in anymore. I need to tell somebody other than the people in my neighborhood, and I need an answer: What should I do? Signed, A Very Troubled Person

Signed: Thought For Weeks About Killing Myself

Dear Thought For Weeks About Killing Myself,

Telling someone that you feel like killing yourself lets them know that you are in a tremendous amount of pain and don’t know what else to do. TeenHealthFX is so glad that you wrote in, because we see it as a sign that you haven’t given up yet. Dealing with painful thoughts for the last several weeks by yourself is bound to make you feel hopeless. TeenHealthFX wants to assure you that your situation can get better but you can not do it alone. Sometimes parents get so caught up in their own struggles that they can not see how vulnerable their child is feeling. Talk to your parents and let them know that your world is far from perfect and that it has gotten to the point that ending your life seems like the only solution. If your parents can’t recognize the severity of what you have been feeling then you need to communicate it to someone else. Think about an adult in your life that your trust, perhaps a teacher, school counselor, school nurse, clergy member or a neighbor. Tell them what you have been feeling and that you need help and can’t do it alone. Sometimes parents need to hear it from outsiders that their child has really been suffering and it is not just a phase teenagers go through.

TeenHealthFX feels fortunate that you chose us to communicate how unhappy you have been feeling. You are not a sullen jerk! You are hurting and need help. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and we implore you not to do it. You took the first step by writing to us. Now you have to keep going and let someone else know how you feel and allow that person(s) to assist you. People really care about you, you just have to give them a chance to show it.

You need to seek help immediately. If you don’t know where to turn to, you can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX