TeenHealthFX - Answers

Suicide / Question
Published: June 26, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I still love this girl who broke up with me. She treated me like crap and after she broke up with me she started to spread rumors about me and I don’t know what to do. For the past few days the feeling of love and stress has just gotten to the point where if something dumb happens I just flip out very badly. I have thoughts about suicide a while ago because of this and the thought has not come back since but I am afraid it might. I have too much going on for me right now and I don’t want suicide to come up again. Please help me about the ex-girlfriend I still love and about the thought of suicide.

Signed: I Flip Out

Dear I Flip Out,

Breaking up can feel devastating even under the best circumstances. But to be treated poorly – evenly cruelly – around a break-up can certainly feel almost unbearable for many people. However, while TeenHealthFX can appreciate how difficult all of this has been for you, we do hope you will not focus on suicide as an answer here. For one thing, this situation and how you are feeling can definitely get better with time – so suicide is not the answer. And secondly, after how mean to you this girl has been it would be terrible for her to think she really got to you and won out in this situation. To lash out, get angry, think of suicide, or to feel so tormented gives this girl the power of knowing she got to you – and why give so much power to someone who has been so unkind?!

FX suggests the following: that you remember that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect – and that there is a girl out there who will want to treat you that way; that you give this girl what she wants the more you get upset and angry; and that your love should go towards someone who can give love back to you. FX also recommends that you consider talking to someone about this situation if you find you continue to have trouble dealing with your ex and with these rumors spreading around. You could talk to a counselor at school, a therapist, teacher or any other trusted adult for support and guidance with this situation.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX