TeenHealthFX - Answers - Seventeen And Have A Lot Of Problems

Other Emotional Health Issues / Question
Published: September 28, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

hello im 17 and have lots of problems i just got out of an abusive relationship not physacly but mentaly.. i dropped out of school i quit my job my. im having eating problems im not hungry anymore i always have headeaches stomach aches im dizzy i always feel like throwing up in the morning. my parents just dont understand they dont know any of this i want to be honest with them but i cant... i even once got so deprresed and just couldnt find a way out so i took an overdose of pills. at the hospital it was to hard for me to talk to the therapist so i just lied to them. its been a year know and nothing is better i dont know what to do sometimes i even think of y am i still here no reason to live i try to think of one but i cant.. and it scares me i think thoughts about hurting myself i feel like no one understands me they think its so easy my boyfriend know is always telling me to forget about all that hes the only one who knows y i overdosed. my ex tried to force me into having sex and he always said he loved me that really messed me up my friend walked in and pushed him off sometimes i wonder if he didint walked in what would of happen? anyways my boyfriend know says to forget im just beating myself up with that but its not easy he cares for me and he wants me to get help but im scared.. i have alot of resentfull feelings towards my ex and i cant let them go . my boyfriend says im the one maiking myself sick my boyfriend dosent know what to do anymore i dont either please help me and try to answer all my questions ???

Signed: Seventeen And Have A Lot Of Problems

Dear Seventeen And Have A Lot Of Problems,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that things are feeling so difficult for you right now and will try to be helpful with our reactions to some of the concerns you have raised.

Needing Support

FX understands that it can be hard to be open and honest with adults – especially parents and therapists. But it is very important that teens have adults as part of their support systems to provide help, encouragement and guidance when difficult issues come up. As hard as it may feel, FX thinks that you need to make a commitment to finding at least 2 trusted adults who can be a support for you – your parents, an extended family member, a teacher, a school counselor, your therapist, or any other trusted adult. Whomever you feel are your best bets in terms of being a trusted adult who will try to be helpful to you – let those people know how you have been feeling.

Treating Depression

Depression is a mental illness that is influenced by biological factors (what is happening inside our bodies) and environmental factors (what is happening around us). If someone is diagnosed with depression, the depression will not just go away. People cannot simply snap out of depression or will it to go away – but, rather, it needs to be treated by mental health professionals. Depending on the severity of the depression, it may be recommended for a teenager to participate in individual and family therapy or to have a combination of therapy and medication management with anti-depressants. Finding a way to successfully deal with your depression will involve your seeking out treatment – participating in therapy and talking to your therapist about whether or not a consultation with a psychiatrist to assess the need for medication is indicated right now.

Not Eating

Not having an appetite can be related to depression. Very often people who are depressed do experience some changes in their eating habits, whether it is eating too much or not feeling hungry at all. However, it is also possible that not having much of an appetite can be related to an eating disorder, like anorexia, or to an underlying medical condition. FX suggests that you speak to a mental health professional and medical health professional about this issue to determine whether your lack of appetite is related to depression, an eating disorder, or a medical illness.

Nobody Understands Me

Nobody what ever know exactly what it is like to be you because they do not live your exact life. However, it is possible that people are feeling so unsympathetic to you because you have had a hard time opening up to others about what is really going on with you. There are probably very understandable reasons that have made this a difficult thing for you to do – however, the problem is that people will not be able to really know what is going on with you and be able to give you their compassion and sympathy if they are not aware of the problems you are dealing with.

In addition, it can be helpful to have people to talk to who have been through similar experiences you have. You might consider participating in a therapy group with people your age who are dealing with similar kinds of issues. It may help you not to feel so alone with what you are dealing with, as well as to have a group of people giving their guidance and support as you work to deal with various problems.

Making Myself Sick

We cannot always control the things that happen to us in life. But we can control what we want to do with the situations that have been handed to us. For example, it was out of your control that you ex tried to rape and hurt you. However, it is in your power to decide what you want to do with that experience and with those feelings now. The negative feelings and experiences you have had – it is up to you now to decide what you want to do with them - if you are going to succumb to them or if you want to deal with them so that you can feel better and move on with your life in a positive way. TeenHealthFX hopes that you will decide to deal with them because things can get better for you with time and with some work. But that will entail reaching out for help – and you are the one in control over whether or not that happens. But if you do, remember that there are caring adults out there who will want to be helpful to you in your reaching whatever positive goals you may set for yourself.

Physically Ill

Sometimes negative emotions can affect how we feel physically. It is possible that how you are feeling physically is a result of the emotional stress you are under. However, before reaching that conclusion, it is helpful to meet with a medical professional to ensure that there are not any underlying medical conditions that need to be addressed.

TeenHealthFX hopes that some of this has been helpful to you, and understands the difficulty of trying to sort through and deal with so many issues and feelings at once. Again, the key here is expanding your support circle and reaching out for help from professional adults in the medical and mental health fields.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact Girl’s Street – A Young Woman’s Health Program – at 908.522.2555.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact the Eating Disorders Program at Atlantic Health at 908-522-5757 for more information and to set up an evaluation.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX