Cutting / Question
Published: October 12, 2007
Dear TeenHealthFX,
i am 13 years old and have been cutting myselg since i was in 4th grade which is about 11 years old!my dad had done suicide when i was a year and a month old. i've been blaming myself since the day i found out it how he had passed.i thought that maybe if they hadn't of had me and i been so stressful maybe he would be here. my parents both did ice.my mom was a single parent after he had passed.i was a victim of being in a domestic violence home. some of m moms boyfrends wouldnt only hit her but also threaten me.she had 2 abortions and 3 kids and she has no custody over any of them.i was taken away at the age 8. in the begining i ha dbeen to 3 different foster homes. the first told me i didnt interact at all so they put me in another foster home which they told me i was good for nothing and that i was gonna be jus like my parents then the last one abused me. then my aunty had looked for me when she had found out that i had been living in the car and that i got taken away. but when i got with them out of the 4 years i still feel as if im not wanted...not loved...i jus hate my life.my boyfrend also makes me sad sometimes..on top of that it always seems like im not good enough for anyone/anything.i use to cut mysef on a weekly bases. but i dont do it as much anymore. but its still really bad.i just cant help it.
Signed: Cutting My Leg Since Fourth Grade
Dear Cutting My Leg Since Fourth Grade,
From what you have described, it sounds like you have had more than your share of major stressors and painful situations to deal with. It also sounds like you have not had any adults in your life who have been positive role models for you in terms of providing you with the support and love you need, as well as helping you to learn effective and healthy coping strategies for dealing with difficult life circumstances. And with so much emotional turmoil, little support, and minimal knowledge of alternate coping strategies, you have then turned to cutting as a way to deal with all of the pain you continue to experience.
FX thinks that the two most important things you can do for yourself right now are to meet with a therapist so that all of the sadness and anger that you have understandably experienced regarding your family and home situations can be addressed, and to build up your support system so that you have positive and loving people to turn to for support and guidance with these issues. To build up a support system for yourself, consider the following:
- Meet with a therapist for individual therapy.
- Participate in group therapy with other teens so you can have the support and guidance of the group therapist and the other group members.
- Enlist the help of, and try to spend more time with, any extended family members whom you see as positive influences.
- Participate in extra-curricular activities such as sports, music programs, art programs, clubs at school or any other activities that will provide you with constant contact with other adults and peers who can be a support for you.
- Become a volunteer. There are countless organizations out there to help animals, the elderly, homeless, children, and many other causes. Becoming involved this way again puts you in contact with adults and peers who can become positive supports and healthy role models for you.
- Confide in any school staff members whom you trust – teachers, school counselors, or the school nurse.
And in addition to seeking help for yourself and building up supports, remember to keep faith and hope that things in your life can get better in the future.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes. 
