Sexual Assault & Rape / Question
Published: February 13, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 13 year old female and I feel I am being raped. When I was 5 I was touched and didn't understand the feelings. Now ive learned to live with it in a way. This is a older guy at school about 2 or 3 years older. Him and his brother everyday after school force me to have anal or oral sex. I don't understand if I like it or not because they don't really force me sense they have been doing it so long I just get over with it. What should I do?
Signed: I Feel I Am Being Raped
Dear I Feel I Am Being Raped,
TeenHealthFX is glad you wrote and is concerned about you. Your feelings are correct - you are being raped. Forcing someone to have sex against his or her will is rape. Your feelings of just wanting to get it over with sound like you have become numb to the emotional pain that this situation is causing you. It is important that you understand that this is not your fault. No one should have to learn to live this way.
It is critical that you reach out to someone who can help you. Talk to your parents about what is going on or if you cannot talk to them for some reason, talk to an adult that you trust or someone at school like a teacher, counselor or nurse. Once you have their support, you will be able to get the help you need.
TeenHealthFX recommends counseling that can help you deal with the feelings you have regarding what has happened to you with these two boys (as well as when you were 5) and also a thorough medical exam that evaluates you for potential STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) to ensure your reproductive health. If you do not have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973.971.6475 for an appointment. You can also contact your local rape crisis hotline (the number is usually found in the front of a phone book) or the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at (800) 656.HOPE (4673) for information about rape and referrals to services.
Rape is a crime of violence - it is not a crime of sex or passion. It is important that you know that once your school's authorities find out what has been happening, it is likely that these boys will face legal consequences. Realize that their actions are the cause, not your telling about what happened.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don’t, yet only 1 in 4 teens report having these conversations. 
