Suicide / Question
Published: April 16, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have tried dealing with my problems on my own, but i feel like i cannot help myself anymore. I have no one to turn to when i need help and luckily i found this website. Basically my whole life has just been one huge problem after another, but the main thing i wanted to talk about was my step-dad. my mom married him when i was about 11, he had been living with us for years and he used to abuse her all the time, i would always have to stop them from fighting when i was a little kid. Recently she left us both to live with a man that she met at her work ( who also threatened to kill me), shes addictd to drugs now too. she doesnt call or come over anymore. ever since then my step-dad has been angry all the time. He usually was before but now he just takes things out on me all the time. Hes never actually hit me but im scared he will one day. Hes thrown glass dishes at me because they were my moms and were taking up space in the cupboard. Everyday he yells at me for nothing, im never good enough for him, and no matter what i do he still finds ways to critize me or the cleaning i do around the house. Hes an alcoholic and i understand that people get mad when they drink but everyday he calls me "Stupid, Useless, Retarded, and an Idiot," he says that he hates me living with him and that im "Just as stupid as the rest of my family". But later on her apologizes. He also says that i cause him so much stress he just wants to blow his brians out. He constantly threatens to move away and leave me. I dont know what to do anymore. I want to move out, but im almost finished with high school so i think i should just stay, but i keep having thoughs of suicide. He always threatens to kill the animals i have because he thinks i dont take care of them even though i do. He pushes me to think of myself as nothing, like i dont even belong in this world. Im afraid one day ill just get so depressed ill kill myself. which wouldnt be too hard because he collects knives and guns. He never lets me go hang out with my friends either because
Signed: Major Problems With My Step-Dad
Dear Major Problems With My Step-Dad,
TeenHealthFX is very concerned about the living situation you have been in – to have had to witness and get involved in the domestic violence that was occurring between your mother and step-father years ago, and now to be living with your step-father who is an emotionally abusive alcoholic who is unable to control his rage and who blames you for things that are not at all your fault (like his stress).
FX is very concerned about the situation you are in and how it is driving you towards becoming more depressed and thinking about suicide. FX thinks that it is critical that you find a trusted adult so that you can let them know about everything you told us – that your mother is no longer caring for you and is abusing drugs and that you are living with your step-father, who is an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, has threatened to harm your animals, and who you worry may become physically violent with you. In addition, you need to be clear with the adult you speak with that you are becoming increasingly depressed to the point where you worry you are going to become suicidal.
In terms of who to go to, you can speak with a school social worker, guidance counselor, teacher, principal, your primary care physician, the school nurse, a coach, or anyone else who you trust and feel would act in a helpful way on your behalf. It’s important that an adult intervenes in this situation to determine what needs to happen for you to feel safer in your home environment – whether you and your step-father need to go to your own individual counseling or whether you need to be removed from the house because it’s just too unsafe for you right now. But it’s important that you try not to figure all of this out on your own – there are people out there who can provide you with guidance and support with this issue and who can help things to get better for you. You made a good first start by reaching out to us, and now you need to take a second step and reach out to someone in your community who can offer your further assistance.
If needed, you can also contact one of the two following hotlines:
- Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-792-8610, 24 hours, 7days a week. For reporting physical or sexual abuse and to get help.
- Youth Crisis Hotline, 1-800-448-4663, 24 hours, 7 days a week. For youths, 17 years of age or younger who are in crisis.
If you live in northern
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Among male drivers between 15 and 20 years of age who were involved in fatal crashes in 2005, 38% were speeding at the time of the crash and 24% had been drinking.
