Other Emotional Health Issues / Question
Published: December 17, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Ok i am 16 years old male and i am wondering if something is wrong with me.Like as if im retarded or something. Here are a list of things that i think is wrong with me - When i watch movies sometimes i try to act like one of the characters in it. For example, in a show called the oc, i try to act like ryan at wood. and the show prison break, i try to act like mike scofeild.. I will like try talking like them some times iuno. -I some times when i am bored pictures things.. Like i would be in class and ill picture my teacher naked jumping up and down and then a midget fighting my teacher. and no im not gay. i am attracted to females.. But i pictures these gay funny stuff.. - i am very shy i guess you would say, i am not shy online(talking to people in multiplayer games/forums) But in school if a school is hot and i talk to her, i will turn red. And some times i turn red like if a cool guy in the class ask me a question or something. And i feel like my face stiffens/i have a blank face i guess you would say.. im like anti social i guess you would call it. I been this way since 5th grade. i use to talk in class but then in 5th grade my friend told this girl that i liked her. And i turned red. and ever since, i been shy.. im so angry.. -Oh and i dont really go out much. I play the computer or play with my dog around my house. i really dont have a life i guess you would say. - and i think the reason contributing to my shy factor is because i am russian. i have a russian accent and like people make fun of it.. it makes me so angry. - and i have like different personalities.. for example online- i am open Stores- i try to act like im cool School- i try to act cool and im very shy Home- i am sort of open but i show respect and help out. what should i do
Signed: Wondering If Something Is Wrong With Me
Dear Wondering If Something Is Wrong With Me,
TeenHealthFX does not think that something is “wrong” with you as a person. Many of the things you are describing are very normal given the experiences you are dealing with. For example, adolescence is a time where people begin to develop their identities – figure out who they are. When you act like some of the characters on television, it is very possible that you are trying to figure out which ways of thinking and acting feel best for you. Adolescence is also a time where people look up to celebrities a great deal – wishing they could be friends with, date, or even be certain famous people. Finally, it sounds like you may feel uncomfortable with who you are – that you don’t feel “cool” or like a person whom others would like. So you become these characters who you do see as the kind of people others would like and admire. But again, this is common for being a teenager. Most teens have some level of insecurity about who they are and whether or not they will be liked by their peers.
The insecurities that you feel (as MANY other teens do) have lead to certain things like turning red when talking to a pretty girl, feeling shy when approached by a “cool” kid at school, or feeling more okay about being open about yourself when on the computer. But the important thing to remember is many teens feel this way and experience the same thing you do.
Finally, the fact that you are Russian and have a Russian accent may add to your insecurity. Whether people have foreign accents, speech disorders, or they are just learning the language of where they are now living – it can feel very embarrassing to them to speak and can be a real insecurity for many. In situations like this it is easy to feel different from others (not an emotion that most teens like to have) and to keep more to yourself.
So, given that you are going through adolescence and given that you are feeling different than your peers in terms of your ethnicity, it is understandable and normal that you are feeling the way you are. Again, it does not mean that anything is “wrong” with you. Adolescence is a time of developing various skills – the skills of communicating with peers, developing one’s identity, dealing with dating issues, and finding ways to boost self-esteem. Many times teens need some assistance in developing these skills. You might find it helpful to reach out to someone who can help you work on these skill sets. You could meet with your school counselor, meet individually with a therapist to discuss some of these thoughts and feelings, or even participate in group therapy to learn how to interact in a more comfortable way with your peers, as well as how to deal with the feelings you have about your accent when speaking with others.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Compared with other age groups, teens have the lowest rate of seat belt use, and male high school students are more likely than female students to rarely or never wear seat belts.
