TeenHealthFX - Answers - Molested As A Child And Now Feeling Strange Attractions To Others

Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: September 8, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

i am 19 years old and i was molested when i was very young. now that i am older i'm having a hard time getting in touch with my sexual self...it makes me feel disgusting and scared to acknowledge my feelings (which have just become creepier with puberty). i feel strange attractions to men and women and recently children. i don't feel safe in social situations which is hard because i go to school and i have a job...both that require heavy interaction with people. but i don't want to hurt anyone. i don't know what to do! help!

Signed: Molested As A Child And Now Feeling Strange Attractions To Others

Dear Molested As A Child And Now Feeling Strange Attractions To Others,

TeenHealthFX is very sorry to hear that you were molested as a young child. Experiences like this for children can end up creating many different kinds of problems for them as the years go by – and one of these problems often includes confusion about intimacy and sexual relationships with others. Having been molested you were introduced to sex at an age much younger than your body or emotions could handle. And the person who molested you may have presented the physical contact as a way to feel “close” or “special.” These kinds of experiences can make it very difficult for a developing child or teen to know what healthy ways of being close to others consists of, and what healthy, appropriate ways of expressing sexual needs includes.

FX thinks that what is so promising for you in terms of being able to successfully deal with this is that you are aware of your thoughts and feelings as potentially being problematic and you are also reaching out for help. You took your first step in writing into us, but now you need to take your next step and find a therapist who specializes in dealing with victims of sexual abuse. It may feel scary or embarrassing to think of sharing these thoughts with another person – but remember that your thoughts and feelings are understandable given what you have been through, and the therapist will know that. In addition, rather than being critical of you in any way for having these thoughts, most likely the therapist will admire the fact that you are motivated to do something about them and get to a healthier place when it comes to your sexual self.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

You can also contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week or visit www.rainn.org for help or more information.

Signed: TeenHealthFX