TeenHealthFX - Answers - I Feel Like I'm Going In Circles

Eating Disorders / Question
Published: September 29, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I've been struggling with anorexia for about a year, and it has recently gotten worse. I am a perfectionist, and OCD, and under a lot of stress from my junior year in school. I've had horrible headaches since school started, and I've been withdrawing from friends and my horseback riding, which has been a huge part in my life for the past 10 years. I don't believe my life is worth living and that there is nothing to look forward too, but the only thing that is keeping me from suicide is that I don't want to dissapoint my parents. PLEASE answer, I feel like I'm going in circles, I don't know what to do and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this.

Signed: I Feel Like I'm Going In Circles

Dear I Feel Like I'm Going In Circles,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is very important that you enter mental health treatment to address these various issues. It is important for you to be in individual therapy to learn how to more effectively deal with the various stressors in your life, as well as to address the underlying issues contributing to you eating disorder, OCD, and perfectionistic tendencies. It is also important that you receive family therapy so that any relationship issues between you and your parents can be addressed. Teens dealing with perfectionism issues, eating disorders, and OCD often experience control issues in their relationships with their parents, as well as feeling like standards and expectations are too high and too rigid and that they will be met with anger and disappointment if not met. It is important that these relationship issues are addressed, and that your parents receive support and education about the ways in which they can be most helpful to you as you deal with these issues. FX also thinks that it is important that you have a consultation with a psychiatrist who can assess whether psychotropic medication would be helpful for you. There are medications out there that have been proven to be very effective with eating disorder patients and those diagnosed with OCD – so this might be an important consideration for you.

FX understands that it can feel extremely difficult to talk about these issues, but it is very important that you reach out to your parents and mental health professionals for help with all of this. You have so much to live for – and it will be so much easier for you to recognize and embrace that thought when you have support and guidance from others.

In addition to seeking help from others, FX suggests that you read DISTORTED: How A Mother and Daughter Unraveled the Truth, the Lies, and the Realities of an Eating Disorder. This is a book by Lorri Antosz Benson and her daughter, Taryn Leigh, where they discuss both sides (the daughter’s view and mother’s view) of an eating disorder struggle. You might find this book to be helpful (and should have your parents take a look at it as well) as it provides guidance for those struggling with or affected by an eating disorder by exploring the following:

the psychological factors that can contribute to eating disorders
the impact eating disorders can have on the person who has been diagnosed, as well as on his/her family members
the various feelings and behaviors often seen in people struggling with eating disorders
the critical nature of family support and participation for the recovery process
an understanding that the family cannot force change or recovery onto a person dealing with an eating disorder – that he or she must be ready and willing for the change to occur.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you live in NJ you can also contact the Eating Disorders Program at Atlantic Health at 908-522-5757 for more information and to set up an evaluation. In addition, you can contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1-800-931-2237 for more information and referral services regardless of what state you live in.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX