TeenHealthFX - Answers - Tired Of Crying And Feeling Trapped

Suicide / Question
Published: January 5, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am 16 years old...the past two years have been rather unhappy for me. I suppose that's just life, and I have been coping until the past year of 2008, when I felt I just couldn't care anymore. Everyday I am so terribly bored and some days I just sit and stare instead of doing my homework. I'm homeschooled so I pretty much do my schoolwork without supervision. I started Grade 11 in October 2007 and now in 2009 I haven't finished it yet. I don't know how to go on, I've fallen behind so much in school. The past few months I've thought of suicide to just end it all, even making plans. I can't get myself going, can't gather up the motivation. I've wasted so much of the year on my artwork, because drowning myself in drawing helps me escape my anger, frustration, and loneliness. I used to be able to go on and value my life but these days now I just keep thinking that I could end this wearisome life. I'm tired of crying and feeling trapped. My mother can't help me; she has so many burdens of her own that she has no strength to help me with mine, for they would surely kill her. How do I gather the energy and will to go on when I feel like I wouldn't mind dying? Is life even worth living???

Signed: Tired Of Crying And Feeling Trapped

Dear Tired Of Crying And Feeling Trapped,

TeenHealthFX is very concerned about you and wants you to talk to an adult as soon as possible about how you have been feeling. It is possible that you are dealing with some type of depressive disorder, that you are feeling too isolated from your peers being homeschooled, or that you are having difficulty dealing with whatever your mother is going through right now and the fact that subsequently you do not have her there for you in the way you need her to be. Any of those things alone, and especially a combination of any of those things, could be seriously affecting your mood. There are many things that could be contributing to the way you are feeling and it is important for you to meet with a mental health professional who can determine the underlying causes and who can work with you on implementing an effective treatment plan. Since you are not feeling like you are currently able to get guidance and emotional support from your mother, it is also very important for you to get connected to an adult (such as a therapist) who can be there for you in that way.

Life is worth living, but obviously you are dealing with certain situations and emotions that are making that hard to see. So please get some help for yourself and know that it is definitely possible for you to feel better – to get to a point where you see the value of life, where you are happy more often than you are sad, where you feel motivated, and where you can have people in your life who you feel you can lean on and who have the strength right now to help you through this tough time.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX