TeenHealthFX - Answers - If I Could I Would Drink Everyday

Depression / Question
Published: January 12, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am president of my university sorority, a dance member of my university, ran for an executive position in my university committee and on a business competition team. But if i could i would drink everyday. I am deeply depressed, I feel numb and alone even though i am very popular. I sneak alchol at parties and at home. I miss going out with my friends because of drinking and go out when i know there will be alchol served. When i drink i do so until i blank out. I was molested a number of time younger and recently by family and friends. I use to take painkillers at one time over 16 and i overdosed, i became bulimic and anorexic. I constantly feel like i have to do something to myself. I don't understand if this is a phase or is something wrong with me. Please help.

Signed: If I Could I Would Drink Everyday

Dear If I Could I Would Drink Everyday,

TeenHealthFX does not think what you are experiencing is a phase that will simply pass. FX thinks that there is a connection between your depressed mood, your drinking, and the fact that you have been sexually abused on a number of occasions. People who are trying to escape from difficult emotions and memories will often use alcohol (or other types of drugs) to numb themselves from the pain of it because the pain is just too overwhelming to bear. If you were molested as a child and recently, FX could easily imagine that you are dealing with a tremendous amount of sadness, anger, and pain. To survive and get through the day with those types of feelings might mean for you that you have to blot them out somehow – and alcohol has become your means to do this.

FX thinks that it is very important that you meet with a mental health professional who has training in working with substance abuse issues, as well as with those who have been sexually abused. FX thinks that it is important for you to get support and guidance in working through your feelings connected to the abuse, in getting treatment for your depression, and in finding alternate ways to cope with what has happened to you other than with drinking. Since you stated you were molested recently by friends and family, FX also thinks it is important that you work with your therapist on a plan that will keep you safe from physical harm both now and in the future.

Going through treatment can be difficult and scary. However, FX wants you to keep in mind that that fact that you are so accomplished with your sorority, with dance, and with various teams and committees at the university you attend, makes it clear that you have tremendous strength within you and that you are capable of accomplishing great things. The strengths and talents that you have can be used to get you through this – but just make sure to seek out help as nobody should be working to get through these issues on their own. The guidance and support you can get from a therapist, as well as other trustworthy and caring people in your life, will be of tremendous help to you in dealing with these issues.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check to see if your wellness center on campus has psychiatrists, social workers, and/or psychologists on staff for the students.

For more information and referral services you can also contact the National Institute on Drug Abuse & Alcoholism at 1-888-644-6432 and/or the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week or visit www.rainn.org.

Signed: TeenHealthFX