Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem Issues / Question
Published: January 19, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Im currently a 14 YO female, and I am 5'10 and weigh 260lbs. I HATE my weight. Im not sexually active, nor have I even been kissed before. I want to have sex, protected of course, but I know it wont happen becuase of what i look like naked. Stretch marks all over my stomach and breats, I look like im expecting quadruplets! My body is terrible. Recently ive been having these nightmares where im sleeping with a guy that has no face [creepy right?] and He makes rude remarks about my weight and how ugly i am while we are 'doing it'. its very disturbing and it happens every night almost, except what he says changes. What can I do to stop this? Is it normal? what else can you tell me? -Please answer this!!
Signed: I HATE My Weight
Dear I HATE My Weight,
TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you are so distressed over your weight and that you feel nobody would want to be with you because of your body type. Given how you are feeling, FX has two things for you to consider.
The first is that it can be very hard for many people to feel good about themselves if they are not feeling physically healthy. If you tend not to exercise or eat in a healthy way, FX strongly suggests you consider this. There are many people out there whose moods can be negatively impacted by foods that are high in sugar, fat, or are processed with lots of additives and chemicals. Exercise also elevates mood and reduces stress – it can give a type of “natural high” – so it can very helpful for a person who can feel low. FX would be curious if you started to eat healthier and exercise more if your mood and how you feel about yourself would also improve.
The second thing FX wants you to consider is that we all have limitations and flaws, and that our limitations and flaws are normal and natural. Look at the people in world around you – there is nobody who is perfect (even if it appears so at first glance). And when somebody decides to befriend someone or date someone, they are so connected to the positives and the strengths in that person that the flaws and limitations do not stand out as these terrible things (as maybe they do in your mind). FX feels certain that you have strengths, talents, and very special qualities. It is important not to let how you feel about your weight undermine these wonderful qualities to the point where you feel you are not lovable or desirable as a person. Focus on your strengths, where they can take you, and how many people out there would be drawn to those strengths – and work on seeing yourself in a positive way.
If you need help developing a healthier diet or an exercise routine, speak to your primary care physician, school nurse, health teacher, or a nutritionist. If you don't have a doctor and live in northern
If you feel that there are some emotional issues you are having difficulty dealing with related to your weight, self-esteem, or dating, consider speaking with a school counselor or private therapist. If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youths ages 15 to 20. 
