Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: January 31, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My girlfriend lives in South Dakota and is being verbally and physically abused by her father. I have tried and tried and tried to get her to go to the cops, but she's too scared for her life. He hit her the other day and she called me and told me about it. I'm at a loss on what to do. I'm afraid he's going to go too far sooner or later. I've gone to the local PD in Alexandria, MN (that's where I live)and they can't do anything for me or her and I knew that, but I wanted to know what I could do. This is getting very serious very fast. What can I do? She doesn't want to live at home anymore. She'll be 17 in April. Is there some sort of organization that she can go to in Mitchell, SD? I am begging you, please. How can I help her? What can I do?
Signed: My Girlfriend Is Being Abused By Her Father
Dear My Girlfriend Is Being Abused By Her Father,
TeenHealthFX is very sorry that your girlfriend is enduring this kind of abuse at home and that you are feeling at such a loss of what to do. FX can understand your girlfriend’s resistance to going to the police, as she has probably become very fearful over the years of her father and would not want to do anything to rock the boat. However, FX agrees with you that it is very important that someone intervenes as soon as possible to prevent any further physical or emotional damage to your girlfriend.
The first thing that FX suggests is that you speak with a trusted adult around you about what to do. You could talk to your parents or you could speak to a guidance counselor or school social worker at your school. Come up with a plan together about what to do. If you know what school your girlfriend goes to, your guidance counselor or school social worker could contact a staff member at your girlfriend’s school to alert them to the problem so that they could intervene.
You could also ask your girlfriend to call Child Protection Services to report this abuse, or let her know that you plan to do it.
No matter how you proceed – through her school, through the police, or through Child Protective Services of South Dakota – the most important thing to remember is to make it clear that your girlfriend could be in serious physical danger if her father were to find out about any kind of report of abuse. That way, when the police or Child Protective Services intervenes, they will consider this when deciding how to proceed so that your girlfriend is not left in the house with her father unsupervised if her physical well-being would be in jeopardy.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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