Suicide / Question
Published: March 4, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I recently fell in love with a guy my age, right? well, we weren't really going out and i was going out with a sixteen year old that totally messed up me and xxxxxxx's relationship because he told xxxxxxx that i had been raped (which i had been) and then xxxxxxx got mad at me because i was the one going out with the sixteen year old. I think he think's that it's my fault that i got raped. another thing that's passed through my mind is that he hates me because i didn't tell him myself. i need help, because every morning i wake up and want to kill myself. i cut my self all the time, and my cuts have been getting deeper and deeper. please tell me what to do.. i stole a gun from somebody and i want to kill myself in front of xxxxxxx because he keeps ignoring me...help me. please.. signed, Lost in Love
Signed: Lost In Love
Dear Lost In Love,
TeenHealthFX is deeply concerned that you have been cutting yourself and that you have stolen a gun and plan on harming yourself. This boy Xxxxxxx seems to consume your thoughts and it appears you’re experiencing a tremendous amount of emotional turmoil because you no longer have a relationship with him. You were the victim of a sexual assault and you believe that Xxxxxxx thinks that it was your fault and he is mad at you because you did not tell him. The focus here is on Xxxxxxx when it should be on you. You are the victim here. You experienced a horrible trauma and are in need of emotional support as well as professional counseling to help you get through this ordeal. Michael does not seem to be showing any compassion and in fact is making you feel worse.
The first thing you need to do is deal with the trauma of being raped. If you have not told your parents or an adult you trust, you need to do this immediately. Whatever adult you choose to confide in, it is extremely important that you turn the gun over to them. Don’t worry about getting in trouble for taking the gun; this issue can be sorted out later. Next seek out a therapist who deals with sexual trauma and start therapy as soon as possible. People who have been sexually traumatized often feel a wide range of emotional responses that sometimes can lead to feelings of self harm or suicide. This is why therapy is so important in helping the victim realize that they are not at fault and they are suffering the aftermath of a significant trauma that can cloud their judgment. Your therapist will help you take the focus off Xxxxxxx and help you refocus your energy into helping you with the healing process.
TeenHealthFX is not trying to get you to forget about Xxxxxxx, but rather to take care of yourself now so you will be in a better position in the future to make a clear judgment about your feelings for him. We are also concerned that there may be an unhealthy age difference between you your ex boyfriend. This would be another very important factor to bring up in therapy.
People can and do recover from sexual trauma but it takes time, therapy and support. TeenHealthFX implores you to seek out help because you are worth it.
If you live in northern
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern
You can also contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week or visit www.rainn.org.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Each year, half of all HIV infections are among people under the age of 25.
