Suicide / Question
Published: May 13, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I'm a 15 year old male. Over the past few years I have been feeling like i don't belong and this has been affecting my life severely. This started in 7th grade when I also started playing Massive Online Multiplayer Role-Playing Games such as World of Warcraft and Runescape. I began to stop communication with many of my friends and do anything i could to play these games. As of now I still play one of the games, Runescape, but have stopped the other as of last month. I feel like that has helped me slightly but I still don't feel right. I have questioned my sexuality and tried to kill myself multiple times. I haven't gone through with the attempted suicides because i stopped myself with the blade to my neck. I feel like I need help but I don't want to seek it out. I spend a lot of time doing nothing and sleeping. I usually don't do much with my friends. My grades in school haven't been good since 6th grade before I started the gaming. I think the questioning my sexuality came about because I'm just really horny, I can't tell though. I'm coming here because I want to know what I should do. If you can help me, please consider it.
Signed: Questioning Sexuality And Feeling Suicidal
Dear Questioning Sexuality And Feeling Suicidal,
TeenHealthFX thinks that it is very important for you to reach out for help for yourself as soon as possible. Teens who question their sexuality very often feel like you do – like they don’t belong or like they are outsiders. Most teens want to fit in with their peers and conform to what they see as the norm in their world. Many teens who do question their sexuality and have the experience of not belonging subsequently can feel very depressed. If you feel you do not belong, you are becoming more depressed, and you are thinking a lot about your sexual orientation, then FX could understand that you have gotten very wrapped up in these computer games. Video games and computer games can be a kind of escape from any unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and circumstances in real life.
It is also possible that you have some kind of depressive disorder – that depression is a primary problem, rather than a result of questioning your sexuality and feeling like you don’t belong. Many people with depressive disorders will isolate themselves – such as spending more time on the computer than with actual people. In addition, some people with depressive disorders will have passive suicidal ideation (thoughts about suicide with no intent or plan) or will actively try to harm themselves.
FX cannot know exactly what is causing you to feel the way you do – you need to meet with a mental health professional for a consultation to get a better idea of what is contributing to your sense of not belonging and your suicidal thoughts. FX understands that it can feel difficult to seek out help, but we want you to understand how important it is for you to have support and guidance right now from mental health professionals. Clearly there is a lot that you are dealing with and you should not have to deal with all of this alone. If you have a depressive disorder, there are treatments that can help to alleviate your symptoms. If you are having difficulty with sexual orientation issues, there are people out there who can be there for you as you deal with all the complexities of thinking about your sexuality as a teen. So know that caring people are out there who will want to be helpful to you, and please reach out to the adults around you for help as soon as possible.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
You can also contact the following hotlines and organizations:
· Gay and Lesbian National Hotline, 1-888-THE-GLNH (366-8288), 24hours, 7 days a week
· Gays and Lesbian Teens, 1-800-850-8078, 24 hours, 7days a week. A crisis hotline for gay, lesbian and questioning youth, ages 25 and younger.
· The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center is the largest multi-service organization on the East Coast and the second largest LGBT community center in the world. They work to provide various types of services and education related to important LGBT issues. They also offer YES (Youth Enrichment Services), a program to help end isolation for many LGBT youths. FX thinks it would be helpful for you to check out their website. If you do not live in the New York City area to get directly involved with The Center, contact them and tell them where you live so that they can give you recommendations about possible resources in your area.
· Centerlink (formerly known as The National Association of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Centers) serves over 165 LGBT community centers across the country. These communities serve over 1.5 million people with direct services, educational efforts, and working towards social change.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
It is estimated that major depressive disorder (MDD) affects about 5% of adolescents, and that between 10 - 15% of adolescents have some symptoms of depression at any one time.
