Depression / Question
Published: May 20, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hello I am Xxxxxx. I am 15. For the past 7 months i have been having sleeping problems and depression.With in these months alot has happened , my friend killed himself , grades have gotten worse and moving to a new city/school ect. The thing is i have a good life. I have an amazing boyfriend ad good friends. I smoke and occasionally drink. I dont party any more and i have never done any drugs. My mother is on medication for depression and anxiety. I am not sure if it is hereditary or not. I am an actress so 90% of the time everyone thinks i am ok when i'm not. I asked my mom about getting professional help cause of losing my friend ( even tho thats not the only thing) and she said " Shit happens" and "give it time you'll be fine". so i am not quite sure what to do. I am very confused and a bit lost. Any ideas of how i can help or even solve my problem?
Signed: Sleeping Problems And Depression
Dear Sleeping Problems And Depression,
TeenHealthFX thinks that it is important for you to meet with a mental health professional for a consultation since you have been having problems with your sleep and because you are experiencing signs of depression. The symptoms you are experiencing could be a result of losing your friend, as well as adjusting to living in a new city and going to a new school. There can be a genetic component to certain mental health illnesses, such as mood disorders and anxiety disorders, so it is possible that you may have a mood and/or anxiety disorder that requires treatment since your mother does as well. Finally, if you feel that you often get a “shit happens” type response from your mother rather than more support and compassion, this may be causing you some emotional difficulties as well. But, again, with so many possibilities of what the contributing factors may be, it is important for you to meet with a mental health professional for an accurate diagnosis and so an effective treatment plan can be put into place.
FX suggests you go back to your mother and let her know that you need to meet with a mental health professional for an assessment. You could show her this question/answer to get the ball rolling, explain to her that you are not finding you are doing better with time, and/or let her know that you have been putting on an act to some degree of how well you are doing, but that there are a lot of concerning feelings and thoughts going on underneath what you present to others day to day.
If you find your mother is resistant to getting you help, you could ask her if it worries her to think of you seeking out treatment like she is. If that still doesn’t get anywhere, consider seeking help from your school counselor, an extended family member, or anyone else who can intervene on your behalf.
In addition, please consider reading the following books that have been written particularly for teens who are dealing with the death of a peer:
· When a Friend Dies: a book for teens about grieving and healing by Marilyn Gootman. This book is for adolescents who are dealing with the loss of a friend.
· Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens:100 Practical Ideas. By Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. This books offers suggestions of how to understand and express grief.
· Out of the Darkness : Teens Talk About Suicide by Marion Crook. This book is based on interviews with teen suicide survivors, parents and professionals. It looks at all aspects of teen suicide, including why certain young people take their own lives.
· The Grieving Teen: A guide for teenagers and their friends by Helen Fitzgerald. This book talk about how to deal with everything from the funeral, to the first day back at school, to the anniversary of the death – and lets teens know they are not alone in what they are going through.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don’t, yet only 1 in 4 teens report having these conversations. 
