Depression / Question
Published: July 13, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am crying more than I ever used to. Ever since I can remember I have always been lonely. I used to take it in stride, choking the loneliness by having company, drowning it in loud music...Nothing has worked. It will not die. I try to cry it out, but I cannot kill it. The horrible thing is, to kill the loneliness, I have even thought of resorting to cutting or to drugs, which fortunately I have no easy access to. And my other problem is that I have thought of hanging myself, because I am afraid of the future. When I think about my future, I am confronted by an empty life with nothing to look forward to. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than face the future. I feel so afraid and hopeless. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way- I've never been abused and have a loving family. Besides, these feelings are on and off. Please tell me how to overcome this thing on my own. I'm so digusted with my emotions I can't tell anyone.
Signed: I am crying more than I ever used to.
Dear I am crying more than I ever used to.,
TeenHealthFX cannot make definitive diagnosis over the web, but there many statements in your story that are typical features of someone who suffers from depression. The following is a list of possible symptoms associated with depression. Keep in mind that you do not have to experience all of these symptoms every second of every day in order to be diagnosed with depression.
- You feel sad and cry a lot – and it doesn’t seem to go away.
- You feel guilty for no real reason.
- You’ve lost your confidence or feel negatively about yourself.
- You often have a negative attitude towards things.
- You experience feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
- It often seems like you have no feelings – that you are indifferent to things.
- You no longer feel like doing things you used to find pleasurable.
- You tend to isolate and want to be alone.
- It’s hard to make up your mind, to concentrate, and to remember things.
- You get irritated often; little things make you lose your temper and you often overreact.
- Your sleep patterns change – you either sleep more or have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.
- Your eating habits change – you lost your appetite or are eating more than usual.
- You feel restless and tired most of the time.
- You think about death, feel like you’re dying, or have suicidal thoughts
- You resort to cutting as a coping strategy.
It is important to remember that depression is an illness with a biological basis. It is not necessary to suffer a traumatic life event or come from a chaotic family environment to experience the symptoms of depression.
You note that you come from a loving family which would indicate that they would want to help if they were aware of your pain. In order for you to get the necessary help it is extremely import that you share with your parent(s) how much you have been struggling. If it is a hard subject to bring up, show them a copy of your letter and that will get the conversation going. It is important that you be evaluated by a mental health professional to determine if depression is the main underlying cause of your struggles. If you need a referral, you could check with your family doctor, your insurance company or a personal recommendation from a family or close personal friend. Since depression strikes approximately 1 out of 4 people in their life time there is a good chance you know someone who has gone through a similar situation. The most important thing is that you seek help now. Please do not suffer in silence. People can and do recover from situations similar to yours.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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