Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: March 12, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
i'm 15 and very confused and depressed.I have 3 friends that are thinking of suicide, 5 more that are depressed, and 1 with an eating disorder. I told our guidance councelor of one of my friends that is suicidle, but not the rest. I feel I have to help them, that no one else can. I understand what they're going through, because I'v been through all of it. I have had depression and bulimia. I was getting better, but now I'm getting worse. It's taken me two years to get better. I don't know if I can make-it-through this time. Everything is getting worse and worse.I deal with pressure by making myself pass out, but now not even that is working.I'm helping so many people, that aren't getting better.HELP ME!!! I don't know what to do.
Signed: I'm Helping So Many People
Dear I'm Helping So Many People,
TeenHealthFX can see that you are trying to be a good friend. However, what you have found out is that your friends need professional help. While it is admirable that you want to help them, you are their friend and not a trained professional. While it may seem to you that you are the only one that can help them, TeenHealthFX assures you that they require professional help that you are not trained to give. Tell your guidance counselor about all of your friends and let him or her handle their mental health problems and you can focus on being their friend - lending support and caring for them.
As you have seen, the stress of trying to help them has already had an effect on you. TeenHealthFX recommends that you focus your energies on getting yourself well again. Passing out to deal with the pressure is a clear warning sign that you need to seek out professional help for yourself. Talk with your parents or another trusted adult, like your school guidance counselor and tell them what you have been experiencing.
If you live in northern New Jersey and would like a referral to a therapist, you can call Atlantic Behavioral Health's ACCESS Center at 1.888.247.1400. Outside of this area you can log on to the National Mental Health Association's website for referrals.
Remember, you are not responsible for your friend or her thoughts or actions. However, when people are depressed they may not be thinking clearly and logically. When things get really rough, they need outside, professional help. So, whether or not she is receptive to your suggestions, she has already involved you by telling you these things and you really need to get a responsible adult involved.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A sexually active teenager who does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within one year. 
