TeenHealthFX - Answers - Online Friend With Suicide Issues

Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: March 25, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I have this friend whom I only talk to online. She used to be Christian. Her religion doesn't really matter to me, but it's just that she's lost faith in it simply because of "studies" she's seen in magazines that "prove" there is no God. I'm pagan and don't personally believe in God, but I don't think it's right for her faith and stability to be ruined by magazines. These magazines have also "proved" that love doesn't exist, and that it's all hormones and that a person's only point in life is procreation, and she strongly believes everything she reads like that despite what I tell her. I don't know what to say to her anymore, and several times she has raised the issue of suicide. What should I do? (I can't call any authorities because she lives in a different state and so I don't know where she lives)

Signed: Online Friend With Suicide Issues

Dear Online Friend With Suicide Issues,

This situation must be very stressful for you. It is very important that all suicidal threats are taken seriously. That said, it is very difficult to help this girl without knowing where she is. FX recommends getting an adult involved. This will help you feel better about the situation and relieve a lot of your stress. Perhaps you can talk to your parents and let them see this situation online for themselves. They can then choose to report it to the proper authorities to get this person the assistance they need. In your future e-conversations with her, you can ask her where she lives, her address, and full name so that you can give this information to an adult who could contact authorities in her area. Also, you may want to check with your internet service provider (like AOL) to determine if they can track her down through her screenname.

Also, when she discusses the suicide, let her know that what she is saying concerns you, and that you would like to help her. You can encourage her to talk to a trusted adult or give her the National Hope Network 24-hour hotline number which is (800) SUICIDE.

As far as the media stuff goes - it is not surprising that she puts so much value on what she reads, as the media heavily influences many people. Maybe you can encourage her to do some research regarding topics such as religion through discussions with her clergyperson, books, and by talking to her family and friends. Religion is deeply personal, so sometimes people alter their beliefs. This is something most people do throughout their lives.

FX knows this situation must be very difficult for you. It is important to remember that you are a friend and can not help this person get better by yourself. She needs a trained professional to help get her through this difficult time.

Signed: TeenHealthFX