Depression / Question
Published: November 4, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am 15 and a half and know that I need help, but I don't know how to tell my mom. I cut my wrists and think really bad about myself. I also feel depressed and anxious a lot. I want help, but I don't know how to ask for it.
Signed: Depressed & Helpless - Don't Know How To Ask for Help
Dear Depressed & Helpless - Don't Know How To Ask for Help,
FX understands that it can be scary to have to ask for help, but it is essential that you do so. Being unhappy with yourself to the point that you are hurting yourself is no way to go through life, especially when there is help out there.
FX encourages you to speak up and let your mom know what has been going on with you. Even though she might be alarmed at first, with time, she will come to understand that your feelings are out of your control, and that cutting is a symptom of the emotional pain you are experiencing. There is no right or wrong way to approach your mother, but you need to be honest with her about everything you have been going through and that you cannot deal with it alone and need outside help. There are professionals who are trained to deal with these types of issues, and they can best help you to handle what is going on with you emotionally. If you feel that you cannot talk to your mom about this, you need to speak to a trusted adult, such as a school nurse or counselor, and let them know how you have been feeling. Any of these people may be able to help you find a therapist who deals with these kinds of issues. Remember that you are not alone in this- many teenagers feel depressed and anxious, and many resort to hurting themselves physically to deal with their emotional pain.
Cutting is an unhealthy response people sometimes use when they are overwhelmed with depression or anxiety. It, and other forms of self-abuse, are ways of relieving tension or expressing emotions that are bottled up inside. While this may seem like it provides some relief, people who cut themselves tend to be stuck in a cycle where they feel pressure building up, they cut themselves, and then experience guilt, remorse or shame. These feelings are difficult to deal with, and often lead to declarations that people will not cut themselves again, but once the pressure builds up again, the cycle continues.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get help. There are many problems that can stem from cutting yourself, like getting serious infections or cutting some blood vessel that has a lot of physiological importance. You need professional guidance to help overcome your self-injuring behavior and get to the root of your problems. For some additional information about self-injury and to get help, you can check this link: Self-Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E.) Alternatives.
Although you did not mention it, sometimes people who feel depressed and anxious think about suicide. If, at any time, you feel this way, contact your local hospital or call 9-1-1 immediately. If you live in Northern NJ, you can contact Atlantic Health System's 24-hour Crisis Hotline at (973) 540.0100 or dial 911 for you local emergency service.
FX knows that this is hard to deal with, but with the support of your family and professionals, you can get through this. Depression and anxiety are very well treated with therapy and medications, and treatment can make a world of difference in your life. You are worth it- so, do yourself a favor and ask for help. Good luck and be strong.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
It is estimated that major depressive disorder (MDD) affects about 5% of adolescents, and that between 10 - 15% of adolescents have some symptoms of depression at any one time.
