Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: April 2, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My dad is starting to hit me. He would just come inside my room and yell at me for messing up and hit me with an object or his fists. I dont know what to do because my parents are divorced and i live with my dad now. And I cant tell anyone because my mom doesnt really want to take me because her new husband hates me. I dont really know what i should do other then to call the cops. Please help me!
Signed: Dad's Going To Hurt Me
Dear Dad's Going To Hurt Me,
You need to get help ASAP. If you feel you are in any immediate danger, do not go home; report it to an adult or the police. Being hit with objects and fists is not right and is considered physical abuse. Also, excessive yelling is considered emotional abuse. You need to get help for yourself.
FX recommends talking to your mother about this, but if you cannot you still must seek out help. Talk to a trusted adult such as a teacher, school counselor or school nurse. These individuals are then required (by law) to report potential abuse to the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) in New Jersey or Child Protective Services in other states. You can also call DYFS or your local Child Protective Services yourself. In NJ, you can call (800) 792.8610. Out of New Jersey, log onto ChildHelp USA for reporting in your community.
Once the situation is reported to Child Protective Services, an investigation will occur. If there is abuse, they will remove you from your home. Then all parties will be required to attend counseling and the situation will be monitored. Remember, there are professionals out there for you whose job is to protect you from abuse.
Finally, FX realizes that this is probably not only painful physically, but emotionally for you. Being hit and yelled at can wear on you. Try to remember that the abuse is not your fault and you do not deserve it. When someone experiences abuse, FX recommends that they start seeing a counselor or therapist to help them start dealing with it as well. This is a healthy outlet and will give you someone to talk to about it.
We are glad that you took the first step by writing to us. Now you must go further and report it either to the police, your mother (if she does not do anything about it, you must go further) or a trusted adult at school.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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