Other Emotional Health Issues / Question
Published: May 7, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 14-year-old male; I hate mostly everyone at my school. I'm strangely addicted to wearing black, the more black I wear the better I feel. I don't have much of a social life and I don't really want one. I sleep during the day and I am awake all night. During the night I am always on the computer. For a while I thought I was "Goth" because everybody at school calls me a Goth or terrorist. But I am happy with this lifestyle and that is the scary bit. I know it is not the healthiest lifestyle but I am enjoying it. Should I try to change?
Signed: Addicted To Wearing Black
Dear Addicted To Wearing Black,
The thing that worries TeenHealthFX about your lifestyle is that you seem to be isolating yourself from other people. While this may resolve your social difficulties for the time being, in the long run it is possible that you could become depressed and withdrawn. Also it seems that it would be very hard for you to function in school if you are sleeping during the day and up all night.
It can be very difficult to make friends and fit in when you are 14. You are beginning to develop a sense of who you are and what you want out of life. Unfortunately, others will judge you not by the content of your character but by what you wear, a mistake you made in third grade or by whom you hang out with. All of these issues can be obstacles on the road to good self-esteem. Sometimes it is easier to hide then having to face a situation where often you have very little control over.
TeenHealthFX does think that you should try to alter your lifestyle, not because there is anything wrong with you, but because it does seem unhealthy. Try seeing if there were someone at school you could talk to about how you are feeling, you would be amazed that there are many others out there who may have similar feelings or interests as yourself. Try to get involved in an activity that interests you, this way you will have at least one thing in common with other members of the group. While wearing black is a guaranteed freedom of expression, you may want to add other colors to your wardrobe. By doing this it makes it harder for others to type cast you.
If all this seems too much to do on your own you could talk to your parents about seeing a therapist who works with young people. It is important to remember that seeing a therapist does not mean that you some how are not normal. You are simply looking for some help or guidance during a sometimes-difficult part of life.
If you live in northern New Jersey and would like help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.247.1400.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
In the 
