TeenHealthFX - Answers - Mom Refuses To Let Me See a Counselor

Depression / Question
Published: September 23, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I Have been feeling depressed for almost a year now, and I have read nearly all the articles posted about depression, but none of them really help me. I took the first step of talking to a trusted adult, who was one of my former teachers. She tried to help me by calling my mom and referring me to different counselors. But this made my mom very angry. My mom refuses to let me see a counselor, and she is not allowing me to have contact with my teacher either. I don't understand why, but I think it's because my mom feels like I am placing blame on her for my issues. Now I feel so alone because I have no one to talk to. I want to call my teacher, but my mom would be very angry if she found out. What else is there left for me to do if counseling is not an option? I fear I will keep getting more and more depressed like I have been. Please respond to my question, I really need your help! Signed: What options are left?

Signed: Mom Refuses To Let Me See a Counselor

Dear Mom Refuses To Let Me See a Counselor,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you have been struggling with depression for so long. As you may know from reading other questions and answers in the TeenHealthFX's depression category, depression is an illness that can be treated effectively with therapy, medication or a combination of both. Good for you for being able to reach out to your teacher. It is unfortunate that your mom reacted with anger to this - maybe it was because she thought your were blaming her (as you said) or for some other reasons she may not be willing to share with you.

Regardless of your mom's reasons for not wanting you to see a counselor, it sounds like something that needs to happen. It is considered medical neglect not get treatment that your child needs, including depression. For this reason, TeenHealthFX recommends that you ask your mom again to see a counselor. If she says no, talk to your school counselor about the situation. If he or she cannot convince your mom to get you treatment, then he or she would be obligated to call your local child protective services. This would not be to punish your mother; it would be in an effort to get you treatment for your depression.

You can also call child protective services on your own and report your situation. If you live in northern New Jersey call the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) at 800.792.8610. If you live outside of NJ log onto ChildHelp USA to find out how to report where you live.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX