Depression / Question
Published: October 29, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am fourteen years old, and a high school freshman, and have lived a really depressing life where I only had a few friends, and my father physically abused me since the time I was born, to about age six, where my parents divorced. Everything he did to me after that caused some serious mental abuse. I recently cut him out of my life. I've also had an on and off depression since I was nine years old. I've been cutting myself since I was twelve years old. It started as me cutting my arms, then by my arms and legs, so when I move, I can feel the pain. About a week ago, I started to cut my wrists. My so-called best friend and I now hate each other, and it feels as if everyone is against me. I've been told numerous times that I am paranoid, and show some schizophrenia tendencies. I have gone to therapy many times in my life, and feel that is not necessary, since they would tell my mother about the dark thoughts that cloud my head, and my self-inflection. It feels as if no one loves me, and it's hard to even act cheery and happy, though I live in my own fantasy world. I need some advice, and only summed up a little on what my situation is. I should also mention, I was always known as a freak since 7th grade, and everyone at my school thinks I'm some loser.
Signed: I Was Always Known As A Freak
Dear I Was Always Known As A Freak,
Feeling depressed, feeling like everyone is against you, cutting yourself and feeling like no one loves you is no way for anyone to have to live. TeenHealthFX wants you to know that there is hope and there is help available for you to have a better life. Although you have tried therapy before, we strongly urge you to try it again. Therapy can provide you a safe environment to discuss the issues in your life including abuse by your father and how you get along with others.
It is not clear to us who said you were paranoid and had schizophrenic tendencies, but a psychiatrist is the right professional who could evaluate your symptoms and suggest a course of treatment if necessary. He/She will also be able to help you deal with the cutting. Often a combination of medication and talk therapy can help you feel better.
TeenHealthFX recommends that you talk to an adult that you trust about what you are going through and that you want help. If you can, talk to your mother, if not, talk to a counselor, teach or nurse at school or your doctor. They can help you get back into therapy. If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes. 
