Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: September 9, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I really need your help. My mom has anorexic bulimia and has OCD. She is so skinny and she almost never eats and if she does eat she throws it up. She also uses laxatives to help get rid of the food she eats and over exercises all the time. She lies to my grandmother and tells her that?s she is getting better and she is eating a lot, but she isn't she is getting worst. She also has gone for help but she didn't want to so she lied to the people there. She has also been hospitalized for dehydration because of her disease. She also broke her hip running because her bones are so brittle. I am so scared. My sisters also have eating disorders and got through them and now they are depressed and sometimes suicidal. What if that happens to me? My mom is so skinny that she is going to die early. I can't do anything to help her. PLEASE, PLEASE answer me! I need your help! It feels like she already died sometimes. I am so sad that I am mad at her and I don't know why. PLEASE HELP!!!
Signed: Mom Has Anorexia, Bulimia And OCD
Dear Mom Has Anorexia, Bulimia And OCD,
Your mom has a very serious illness and there is no way you can handle the situation all by yourself. Because of the nature of her illness and her state of denial her condition will not improve without professional help. A responsible adult in your family needs to get involved and relieve you of the pressure and responsibility for your mother's well-being. If your father is not available then speak to your grandmother again. Show her your letter to TeenHealthFX because it does a good job communicating how serious the situation is. Emphasize that your mother cannot be trusted to give her doctors or another person accurate information because her perception of her condition is completely distorted. If your grandmother cannot see the reality of the situation then you need to find another family member or and adult you trust to intercede on your mother's behalf. Keep in mind that you are not "telling" on your mother, you are being loving in trying to get her the help that she desperately needs.
Once the medical profession is aware of the seriousness of your mother's condition then they will devise a treatment plan to deal with it. If her situation is as serious as you have described there is a possibility that she could be hospitalized until her condition is stabilized. Should this happen, you have to realize that this is the safest environment for your mother to be in. During this time you and your sisters will be adequately cared for and able to see your mother on a regular basis. Many treatment programs (inpatient and outpatient) have family therapy components to them. Since you have been plagued by fear and anxiety about your mother's ailment it would be a good setting for you to vent how out of sort your emotions have been. It would also be helpful for your mother to realize that her illness not only affects her, but the entire family as well. You may also want to consider individual therapy if the family therapy is not meeting all your needs.
If you would like more information on eating disorders or a treatment referral in your state you can contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 603 Stewart St., Suite 803, Seattle, WA 98101, (206) 382-3587 or click on their website.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A sexually active teenager who does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within one year. 
