Sexual Assault & Rape / Question
Published: September 9, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
This is really hard for me to say and I feel so bad about it I feel like killing myself. When I was younger, along time ago. I was sleeping with my cousin and got kind of turned on. So I started to kiss her and stuff... and then I went to sleep. This was when I was like 10 though, but I think I did it another time when I was 12 and got her to finger me (while she was asleep.) I don't find any attraction in her at all and I sleep with her all the time... and nothing ever happens. I think it may be because I was confused about my sexuality? I would never do anything like that to her now... I'm not going to seek help because I know I can't. . Any ideas of what I should do?
Signed: Feel Bad About What I Did To Cousin
Dear Feel Bad About What I Did To Cousin,
It seems that by keeping this secret inside you are causing yourself a great deal of emotional turmoil. It would be hard for TeenHealthFX to give you a general answer to your question because there is a lot of information that you did not include.
In any case the best way to resolve this issue would be in individual therapy. By saying you cannot seek therapy you are putting serious limitations on yourself. You should know that in individual therapy you are guaranteed confidentiality even if you are a minor, except in cases where you are expressing suicidal or homicidal thoughts. You do not have to be specific with your parents about why you want to see a therapist. Letting them know that there are some things bothering you and that you feel that talking to someone outside the family would be helpful.
Writing this question to TeenHealthFX was a good start but you need to explore the issue further. When you gain a better understanding of your behavior the overwhelming guilt and remorse you feel should diminish.
For help in finding a therapist:
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In northern New Jersey contact the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.247.1400.
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Outside of northern New Jersey log onto US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) website for referrals near you.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Compared with other age groups, teens have the lowest rate of seat belt use, and male high school students are more likely than female students to rarely or never wear seat belts.
