Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: September 18, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
When I was younger, around 3 or 4, my neighbor (who was way older than me, probably in his 30's) used to have me over to "hang out with him". He used to tell me to be a good girl and lay in bed with him and touch his private while he touches mine. I always thought that I was just obeying him since he was an adult and didn't realize that it was wrong. Was I molested? I am too scared to tell my mom about this because I don't like causing any big scenes or anything, what should I do?
Signed: I Was Obeying Him Because He Was an Adult
Dear I Was Obeying Him Because He Was an Adult,
TeenHealthFX believes that you probably would not have written in unless this event was causing you some emotional turmoil. You were a young child who was sexually taken advantage of by an adult whose only concern was his own sexual gratification. To try and understand the impact this event may have had on you look at any typical 3 or 4 year-old around you. Do you think they have any concept of sex or would understand what was happening if they were put in the same position as you? Of course they would not. People who sexually abuse children are very much aware how to manipulate them and how to keep them silent. The damage they can cause to a child is immense.
You were victimized and you should not have to be scared to tell your mother. The news may cause some sort of commotion at first, but as things settle down, the focus will become on how to best help you.
There are therapists out there who are specially trained in working with victims of sexual abuse. There are also support groups with other women who have been through similar experiences These therapists and support groups can help you comes to terms with issues surrounding your abuse and provide you with plenty of support along the way.
If you would like information on finding services in your area or would like to more information on sexual abuse checkout the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) website or call them at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted. 
