ME & Relationships / Question
Published: November 26, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I want to ask my friends about this, but most of them are female, and I don't know how to talk about this to them. I'm an 18-year-old male. And I feel terrible about being a guy. Guys at school who lie and cheat for sex and guys who rape and murder to get the feeling of power, it makes me sick. I know most people are aware that not ALL guys are like that, but how can I prove I'm not one of them? People treat me all the same. The father of the girl I like glares at me whenever I visit. I'm an eighteen year old virgin who has never been on a date, but people still treat me bad just because I'm a guy. I can't change what I am. I don't know what to do.
Signed: Should Have Been Born A Lesbian
Dear Should Have Been Born A Lesbian,
You should not want to change who you are! Do not take the burden of an entire gender upon your shoulders! There are guys with bad intensions, but there are also guys with good intensions. You are clearly the latter.
You should not have to actively prove that you are a good guy. It is probably already obvious. By being yourself and showing your compassionate, understanding side you can show others that you are different. Always respecting girls and others around you will also set you apart.
The glares you get from this girl's father may not be as threatening as you think. He was your age once and knows what goes through the minds of young men. He is naturally going to be weary of anyone dating his daughter. He does not know that you are a virgin and have never been on a date. As long as you show respect and thoughtfulness you will not need to worry.
Most people will not walk around judging you because you are a guy. The wrong doings of other guys will not be placed upon you. You are an individual. Remember that girls can be just as dangerous as guys and are often judged based on an unrepresentative whole. Just be yourself and show that you are unlike the rest.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
In the 
