Sibling Issues / Question
Published: March 29, 2006
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm 16 years old, and i'm the oldest. I know what i'm about to ask next sounds kinda selfish, but i do love my younger two siblings. Is it normal for me to want an older brother. Sometimes i think that if i had on, just to talk to about stuff, and to protect me, that my life would be so much easier. Now i'm not complaining. i really do like being a role model for my younger two siblings. but it's wierd, somethimes i even picture what he would look like. I feel wierd, am i the only one who thinks this?
Signed: Wanting An Older Brother
Dear Wanting An Older Brother,
There is nothing selfish or weird in feeling that it would be nice to have an older sibling in your life to look out for you. This can be a common feeling for many children and teens that are the oldest kids in the house because very often more responsibilities are put onto the oldest of all the siblings. However, FX does believe that whether someone is the oldest child in the house, the youngest, or somewhere in between – that it is very important for all children to feel like they do have people in their lives to ensure their safety and well-being, as well as to provide support and guidance. This need that children have is part of the reason why minors need to live with their parents or with adult guardians until they are adults and able to care fully for themselves!
Since you are saying that your life would be “easier” if you had an older sibling, TeenHealthFX is wondering whether or not you feel like you have anyone to turn to in terms of friends, parents/guardians, or extended family. It is wonderful for your younger siblings that they have you to look up to. However, at 16 years old you also need to feel that you have someone to look up to, to protect you, and to talk to. FX is also worried that something problematic may be going on since you mention wanting a brother to “protect” you.
FX recommends that you talk to your parents about what you feel you are not getting from the adults in your life that makes you so wishful for an older brother. It is important that they know if there are ways that they can be more helpful to you, particularly if you are in any kind of trouble or danger where you need more protection from someone. If you feel uncomfortable speaking with your parents, you could always speak with another adult about your feelings, such as a teacher, school counselor, coach, therapist, or any other trusted adult. If you feel your parents, for whatever reason, are not able to be there for you, as you would like at this time, keep in mind that there are other adults out there who would be happy to provide whatever guidance, support, or help that they can.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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