Parents & Family / Question
Published: December 21, 2007
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hey, I was the person that wrote "Is this a loss of appetite or something to worry about?" Thankyou for responding. I really need to know how I should let my mom know about this. My mom is really easy going and laid back so I dont feel uncomfortable talking to her, but the thing is, she is so mellow that she will most likley think I'm over-reacting and that its not an issue. I would really like to let my mom know but I feel like I cant. My mom does not see me stressing over food. She does not know I'm skipping meals or over-exercising. I know she has it stuck in her mind that I'm perfectly fine. She could never picture me stressing to be thin. I have no clue how to bring up this issue with her. I know that ts not bad now but it has been getting worse and worse. Today I found myself in the lunch line at school trying to decide whether I should get one tiny slice or pizza or any food at all. I have been making myself eat but after I do I so badly want to throw-up. Please help me.
Signed: How Do I Tell My Mom About My Eating Issues?
Dear How Do I Tell My Mom About My Eating Issues?,
Sometimes we can hold onto a certain view of a person and it can take some convincing that everything is not “fine” with that person, as we would like to believe. As your parent who loves you, FX can appreciate that your mother would want to believe that you are feeling well – and the fact is that if you have been doing a good job of covering up these eating issues she may have no real reason to believe otherwise anyhow.
FX suggests that you tell your mother you need to speak to her about something important and find a time where the two of you can speak uninterrupted. Start out by letting her know that you have something to discuss with her, and that it is important to you that she take you very seriously and not try to blow off or minimize what you are telling her. Then let her know what your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors have been recently around food and weight issues. You can even show her this question/answer and the last one you submitted if seeing some things in writing would help to drive the point home with her. And anytime you feel like she makes a statement that minimizes what is going on with you, be patient with her as she processes this and say something like, “It’s probably hard for you to imagine this is really going on with me. I’m sure you want to think everything is fine with me, plus I’ve hidden all this stuff really well from you. But I need you to believe me right now that this is a serious problem and I need some professional help with it.”
If you present your feelings to your mother this way, FX feels confident that she will understand the severity of this issue and will be there for you as you need her to be. If, however, she continues to ignore this problem after discussing it with her, FX recommends that you share your concerns with your doctor or with a counselor at school and have that person speak directly with your mother and advocate on your behalf.
You can contact the Eating Disorders Program at Atlantic Health at 908-522-5757 for more information and to set up an evaluation or contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1-800-931-2237 for more information and referral services.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
In the 
