TeenHealthFX - Answers - My Mother And I Have Never Gotten Along

Parents & Family / Question
Published: December 28, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I need help. I don't know what to do. My mother and I have never really gotten along. She read my diary when i was younger and since then i can't trust her. I'm sixteen and my parents are very overprotective. In my house theres no such thing as privacy. I just recently found out shes been reading my journal again. I've tried to confront her about the issue but every time she just ends up degrading me. I've thought about suicide because i just can't take it anymore. I want to run away but i dont know how to do it successfully. Please help me. I dont know what to do.

Signed: My Mother And I Have Never Gotten Along

Dear My Mother And I Have Never Gotten Along,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that things have been feeling so difficult at home between you and your mother that you have actually thought of running away and suicide. It sounds like your mother had a hard time with issues around trust, respect, and healthy boundaries in terms of reading your diary, acting in an overprotective way, and speaking to you in a degrading way. FX appreciates that dealing with these kinds of issues can be very difficult and frustrating for you, however, we would like to strongly encourage you to find another way to deal with these problems.

FX suggests that you try talking to your mother about how seriously the way she relates to you is affecting your emotional well-being. Let her know that the trust, respect and privacy issues have gotten you to point where you have considered running away and suicide, and that you need the two of you to be able to talk about these issues and try to work them out – either on your own or with the help of a family therapist. If talking to your mother privately does not seem to help anything, FX suggests you enlist the help of a trusted adult to advocate on your behalf the need for you and your mother to be in family therapy. You could speak to an extended family member, a school counselor, your doctor, a teacher, or any other trusted adult who could convey to your mother the importance of dealing with these issues – both for your emotional well-being and for the sake of your relationship with one another.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

You can also contact the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000, 24 hours, 7days a week, which provides help if you have runaway or thinking of running away.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX