Friends / Question
Published: February 11, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Last year my best friend had an eating disorder. She was hospitalized and I was basically her only support outside her family. Now she has recovered and goes to a new school where she has more friends. She no longer needs me to listen to her and cheer her up, so she never seems to want do see me or do anything with me. I'm glad that she has recovered and doesn't need help any more, but it's really hard now that she doesn't care about me. I still need her, even if she doesn't need me. How can i get her friendship back? signed: lost a friend when she recovered
Signed: Lost A Friend When She Recovered
Dear Lost A Friend When She Recovered,
TeenHealthFX thinks that you are a very special person for being there for your friend in a caring and supportive way as she dealt with a very difficult time in her life. FX can certainly appreciate how painful it must be for you to feel like you were there for her when she needed you, but that you are not able to count on her now that you need a good friend to lean on. If you are interested in trying to salvage the relationship, FX thinks that you need to sit down and talk to your friend about this. Let her know that it has been hurtful to you that after being there for her, you feel she has somewhat abandoned the friendship. Tell her exactly what you told us – that you feel like she doesn’t care about you now that she no longer needs you, and that she is very important to you and you miss your friendship with one another. Once she hears how you feel and how you have been affected by the recent distance in the relationship, it gives her a chance to think about the situation and what she would like to do about it.
Telling this girl how you feel will hopefully get some conversation going between the two of you about your friendship with one another – where it was, where it is now, and where the two of you would like it to be. However, there is no guarantee that this girl will want what you want. If she doesn’t want to rebuild this friendship with you, FX can appreciate that will feel hurtful to you and you may need some time to mourn the loss of the relationship. However, if this is the case, FX thinks that it is important for you to think about ways to increase your support systems and ways to build other meaningful relationships with peers so that you have people to lean on.
Since you said that you “need” this girl right now, FX is wondering if there is some difficult issue you are currently struggling with. If this is the case, consider reaching out to a therapist so that you can receive support and guidance with whatever you are dealing with. A therapist can be a wonderful source of support, but can also help you to develop other support systems with the adults and peers who are around you. If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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