Difficulties In Making Friends & Not Enough Time With Friends / Question
Published: February 15, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am 19 and in college. I started out enjoying my first college, but after joining numerous amounts of clubs and joining in activities, I still found myself alone. Making friends and keeping friends has always been difficult for me. I have trust issues, and also have lacked self-confidence because of all the failed relationships. This first college of mine had a lot of drug/drinking/partying problems, in which I am completely not into. I made one friend that shared the same feelings as I do, but eventually, she got mixed up into that group. Because of these problems, I did end up transferring to another school. This school now, I really enjoy the classes, but I have now also got a job, which results in less time available for spending time in clubs, etc. Again, I am having problems making any friends. Everyone at this college, also has full-time jobs and are extremely busy. I really have no idea what to do now, because I feel as if making great friends here is impossible. Most of the time when I'm not at work or at school, I'm at my apartment alone and wishing to be with someone. It also doesn't help that my boyfriend lives 6 hours away from me now. We are doing completely fine, I'm just having problems with making friends as I always have. Any suggestions?
Signed: Difficulties Making Friends
Dear Difficulties Making Friends,
It sounds like the trust issues and lack of self-confidence have become obstacles for you in terms of forming and maintaining friendships with your peers. Despite the things that you have been trying to do to help the situation (such as joining clubs), it sounds like the strength of these trust and self-esteem issues have continued to impede your efforts. FX suggests that you meet with a therapist and discuss what has contributed to the trust and self-esteem issues and develop ways to resolve them so that you will feel more comfortable and more confident in pursuing friendships with others.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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