ME & Relationships / Question
Published: May 14, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I know that this question seems stupid after reading the ones you normally answer, but I'd still like to throw it out there. Pretty much, I feel like one of my teachers last year just abandoned me. I went through a tough time last year (when I had him as my regular English teacher) when I had to cope with a death of a friend and a bunch of other stuff. He really helped me out of it and I started to write stuff, like poems and short stories and that kind of thing. I eventually showed them to him and he loved them and he really encouraged me to keep writing and he kept telling me how much I really could be a writer if I kept at it. Well, I took his advice and I've kept writing and my stuff turns out really good, but I still have a lot to learn. So I gave this teacher a bunch of my stuff to look over in the beginning of this year and he told me that we could talk about once he reads them. (I don't have him as a teacher this year) Pretty much, every week or so, I go into his room after school, (missing the bus and having to walk home in the process), wait patiently until any of his regular students have left, and then ask him if there is a day he could talk about the writing I gave him, and he always gives me a day and I always go to him, and I wait patiently for him to finish talking to his other students or anyone that comes into the room, and then he tells me that he can't do it that day. I don't know, the school years almost over and I haven't talked to him once about anything I gave him specifically. I just feel like he was so encouraging last year and sometimes I just really need that from someone. I need someone to tell me that my stuff is good and to make suggestions to help me get better. I just feel like he's left me on my own this year and I hate it; I understand that he has other obligations and he has to give extra help to his students this year and everything, but it's still really bothering me. I know that I'm way too passive and it's been my undoing before, but I just don't know if I have t
Signed: Feel Like My Teacher Abandoned Me
Dear Feel Like My Teacher Abandoned Me,
TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you had to deal with the death of a friend and other difficult situations, and that you are now feeling like the main person you turned to for support is no longer there for you in the way you would like him to be. FX thinks that it is important that you address this issue with your former teacher, and that you have a support system in place so that there are trusted adults whom you can turn to when you need guidance, advice, or support. That said, FX recommends the following three things:
- Speak with your teacher about how you have been feeling. Let him know how much his support and advice last year kept you going and that you are feeling somewhat lost and abandoned without that relationship this year. It is important that your teacher be made aware of the impact he has had on you – last year and more recently – so that the two of you can talk together about how to work this out.
- Think of ways to increase your support system. Reach out to your school social worker or psychologist – you may be able to arrange with the school counselor to meet with him/her regularly or on an as-needed basis. Consider meeting with a private therapist. A private therapist can offer you a tremendous amount of guidance and support. Most therapist schedule to see their clients once a week – so you would know that once a week you have your time all to yourself to talk about whatever happens to be on your mind. If you don’t feel you have your parents there as supports for you, consider talking to them yourself or meeting with a family therapist to address any relationship issues that are getting in the way of your feeling supported by them.
- Speak with your former or current English teacher about any groups or opportunities available to you that would encourage and help you with your writing. You could join (or start up) a peer writing group at your school, or see if anything is available in town as far as writing groups/seminars. Since writing is so important to you and you seem to have a real talent for it, any opportunities you can have to write should definitely be taken at this point.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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