Questionable Relationships / Question
Published: August 27, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
hi, im 16 and i've been have sexual relations with my uncles best friend, who is 26 years old. Do you think this is a problem? We have not had vagional sex yet, because i asked him not to. im still a virgin and im wondering if it would be wrong to loss my virginity to a man 10 years older then me? Im also wondering if i should tell my parents and my uncle abouy us? please help me in so confused..
Signed: Having Sexual Relations With Uncle's Best Friend
Dear Having Sexual Relations With Uncle's Best Friend,
TeenHealthFX has several serious concerns about your having a sexual relationship with your uncle’s friend. First, since you are a minor and he is 10 years older than you, it is illegal for the two of you to be sexually involved. Second, a 16 year old and 26 year old are in such different places in their lives intellectually, physically, and emotionally – so FX has serious concerns about how appropriate this relationship is and is very worried about what his intentions are here. Third, FX has serious concerns about any family problems this may cause you. Your uncle may feel very angry with his friend and/or with you if the two of you are romantically involved. And FX has a strong hunch that your parents would be extremely upset with this (for good reason!). Finally, in general a person should be absolutely sure about taking such a big step in terms of having sex with someone or losing one’s virginity. That fact that you are “confused” strongly suggests that you are not ready for this step.
FX thinks that it is important for you to discontinue your involvement with your uncle’s friend and pursue a relationship with someone closer to your own age – however, it is obviously your decision in the end. Since you are feeling confused about this situation, FX suggests that you speak to your parents (or another trusted adult if you are uncomfortable speaking to them) about your feelings and how to handle all of this. It is very important that you have the support and guidance of an adult to help you to make decisions in this situation that will be in your best interest. While your parents may be less than thrilled about this, do not let this stop you from talking to about it. Remember that your parents are there to protect you and guide you through different phases of your life – and teaching you about relationships and how to handle different kinds of circumstances with significant others, or potential significant others, is one of them.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
