Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: December 1, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My girlfriend's dad hates me. We have been together for over a year now and we love each other each other to death. But he can't seem to see that. He never talks to me and when I go over to her place,he won't even go in the same room as me.How do I deal with this?
Signed: My Girlfriend's Dad Hates Me
Dear My Girlfriend's Dad Hates Me,
You have a couple of choices when it comes to your relationship with your girlfriend’s father:
- You can continue to act in a caring and respectful manner towards your girlfriend, and be respectful and courteous when in her house, and hope that with time he will come around.
- If you feel comfortable you could ask your girlfriend’s father if the two of you can talk privately. Let him know that you have concerns that he may have some negative feelings about you, that it is important to you that the two of you get along, and that you would like to know if there is something you can do to help that to happen.
- You could ask your girlfriend to talk to her father privately. She can ask him if there is a specific problem he has with you, let him know that both of you are worried about how her father feels about you, and that both of you would like the relationship to be better between you and her father. If she feels uncomfortable dealing with him on her own, she could also ask her mother to help her with this situation.
If none of the above suggestions helps the situation to change, you continue to act in a loving and respectful way towards your girlfriend, and you have not/are not giving her father any reason to dislike you based on your behavior or attitude, then FX thinks you may have to accept that for now this is how he is going to be – and remind yourself that this is not something to take personally, that it is his issue and not yours.
If you find you continue to have difficulties dealing with this situation, FX recommends that you speak with a trusted adult, such as your parents or a school counselor.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
